Saturday, February 20, 2010

Advice for approaching a threesome

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Saturday, February 13, 2010

My Blow Job Valentine

Valentines day

*breathe*

Valentine's day in sex shop world is, well, to put it bluntly....a fucking madhouse (pun intended).

From opening to closing it is a non-stop rush of people buying and asking and trying and looking. Keep in mind our store does a Valentines sale, which only adds to the chaos of fuck.

And fucking people will do. It is 6pm, the night before the big day and people are rushing for the perfect gift for their sweeties, be that someone else, or just themselves.

The most popular item sold today?

Handcuffs
Thank the kinky gods for that. Hopefully couples tonight will be exploring new dynamics in their relationships and open new sexual possibilitites for them.

Second:
Purple 5inch bullet vibrator.
Not a big suprise there. It's 18 bucks, and looks nice and simple.

Third:
Pjur silicone lube
Score for the silicone lube. Silicone is great for sex because it's smooth and waterproof and a little bit goes a very long way. The only downside is that it's a little messy since our bodies don't absorb it, so you need to clean it off or it won't go away and that may lead to stained sheets. boo!!! But silicone lube is GREAT for anal play. Lube that ol' ass up.

The most asked for item that we don't carry?
Throat numbing lube.
Now I get it, your partner has a big ol' dick and it hurts to suck it for too long or you want to push it farther into your mouth but you can't. That doesn't mean that numbing your throat is the answer. Think about it. If you numb it, how can you tell if you've torn something? Do you know how painful that will feel in the morning? Also, what if the numbing lube gets on your partner? A numb johnson doesn't sound so good. So let skip the numbing lube.

A trick to guzzling down big ones? Lay on your back with your head tilted back, so that your mouth and throat form a straight line. Straight line means easier throat access. And for the gentelman, it looks hot having someone bend backwards to go down on them. Also a trick is yawning or humming. This relaxes your throat muscles.

Okay enjoy!

Friday, February 5, 2010

It's hard out there for a PIMP

So this guy came in. He looks to be in his late 30s, since clothes and haircut. He asks to speak to the owner. As I was the only one working I asked what it was for (there are two owners, one takes care of orders, the other manages our classes). He said he manages girls and was wondering if we could put stripper poles in the store. I explained that we can't since it's expensive for insurance reasons. I asked what his buisness was and he said it was on his card. On the back of the card (which was brown with gold lettering) there was no description besides a list of shows.
Lollipop Shows
Toy Shows
Masterbation Shows
Ring toss
2 girl Shows

So after this guy left I looked up his website. The first thing that pops up is a panty-less bent over girl. Okay, so I figured he was a manager for strippers or something. It's better than that. He's a manager for entertainment girls, which means girls that you can hire for private parties and they will put on any kind of show for you (and by you I mean a group of males). So bachlor parties, birthday parties, etc. Except they will have sex with themselves and each other. Very explicitly. There is a no touching policy, but they will fuck each other live.

This guy is basically a legal pimp. He manages girls who are paid to go out and have sex for money. The only difference is that they have sex with each other for money. Personally I'm pretty impressed how close he is dancing around the prostitution line. Is the only difference between a hooker and a stripper the touching policy? What if the stripper masturbates with a dildo a foot away from the customer for money? Isn't that penetration?

I always question prostitution and it's legality. We can fuck each other for money so many different ways without it being illegal. Porn, live shows, entertainment girls. It's all fucking for money. But the people of the evening are the only ones who get fucked over.