It was pointed out to me recently that I took a short break from writing about my work without really noticing it. The reason behind this is *holds breath*
I am quitting my job. *breathes*
As much as I have enjoyed the last three years of sex shop employment, I want to do bigger and better things. I want to develop my sex education and educating, and to do that I must move from this small town and adventure on. Now don't be sad, I will continue blogging about sex, life, and general fuckery, and let's face it, my next job will probably involve something just as entertaining as selling sex toys to the general adult public.
I am leaving in a month, June 25th to be exact. This last month I will be helping out to train my replacement, as well as make sure that the shop will not fall apart without me. I've really loved working here, but I feel like it's time to move on.
So where is Avi going?
I am going to the motherland of smut, Amsterdam, to study at The University of Amsterdam's Summer Institute of Sexuality and Culture for the summer. Don't worry, there is Internet and I will be updating about my adventures along the way. After that, I will probably be moving to my hometown of San Francisco, to find more sex work and adventure.
So come and follow me,
And thanks for the adventure so far!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Sex-home
Sometimes work can seem like home, or at least a comfy hangout space. I came into work today with a corset I bought somewhere else to use our returns system to exchange it (too big). My boss was totally fine with me using our USPS account to do my personal mailing. My boss and her friends were making mimosas, and talking over their late night endeavours of the former day.
As I clock in I help a couple buying a vibrator. The woman is a bit short with me, probably from being uncomfortable with talking to a stranger about her sex life. She wants a vibrator that she can use for inner and outer stimulation, but not at the same time. She also wants a vibrator that will go in deeper, as apparently the last one she bought did not go in as deep as she'd like. After interrupting me a few times I let her and her partner debate between the two of them on what to get. Sometimes it's best to say "How about you think it over and I'll be over here if you have any more questions?" They ended up buying two vibrators that I recommended, the C-Spot by Good Vibrations and The Slenders vibe from Evolved (who recently declared their one-year warranty on toys! Hooray!)
A very tall blonde buys Trojan Magnum XL condoms and some Coochy Cream (shaving cream for intimate areas.
A small woman who did not speak very much English asked me about prices for a finger vibrator. She handed me too much money and was confused when I gave her the extra five back.
My boss's friend makes me a mimosa, it makes me all warm inside
A lady in scrubs comes in concerning her vibrator which appeared to not be working. I tested it with our batteries and it worked fine. Apparently she has been putting the batteries in wrong. It happens sometimes, not all vibrators come with instructions on how to put the batteries in. I feel very professional when examining the toy while wear gloves.
Four college sorority girls come in giggling. After poking around a little bit and asking me questions, one of them asks if she can try on corsets. Since no one else is in the store but them, I help lace them into corsets. Apparently it was the first time any of them had tried them on. It was very cute. They didn't buy any, but I still like helping people try new things. One of them bought a pink power bullet (reference to earlier blog, remember my theory about colors and power bullets?) They thank me as they leave.
A bald man buys a large bottle of Liquid Silk lubricant and a cock ring. He has me gift wrap them.
A red headed girl carrying poster board bring in her resume. I remember her from past events at the shop and have the boss come out to meet her. We will start interviewing people next week.
Some regular customers come in and buy a 7-function vibrator. They ask to have it tested in the store to make sure it works.
Wish I could have more mimosa
As I clock in I help a couple buying a vibrator. The woman is a bit short with me, probably from being uncomfortable with talking to a stranger about her sex life. She wants a vibrator that she can use for inner and outer stimulation, but not at the same time. She also wants a vibrator that will go in deeper, as apparently the last one she bought did not go in as deep as she'd like. After interrupting me a few times I let her and her partner debate between the two of them on what to get. Sometimes it's best to say "How about you think it over and I'll be over here if you have any more questions?" They ended up buying two vibrators that I recommended, the C-Spot by Good Vibrations and The Slenders vibe from Evolved (who recently declared their one-year warranty on toys! Hooray!)
A very tall blonde buys Trojan Magnum XL condoms and some Coochy Cream (shaving cream for intimate areas.
A small woman who did not speak very much English asked me about prices for a finger vibrator. She handed me too much money and was confused when I gave her the extra five back.
My boss's friend makes me a mimosa, it makes me all warm inside
A lady in scrubs comes in concerning her vibrator which appeared to not be working. I tested it with our batteries and it worked fine. Apparently she has been putting the batteries in wrong. It happens sometimes, not all vibrators come with instructions on how to put the batteries in. I feel very professional when examining the toy while wear gloves.
Four college sorority girls come in giggling. After poking around a little bit and asking me questions, one of them asks if she can try on corsets. Since no one else is in the store but them, I help lace them into corsets. Apparently it was the first time any of them had tried them on. It was very cute. They didn't buy any, but I still like helping people try new things. One of them bought a pink power bullet (reference to earlier blog, remember my theory about colors and power bullets?) They thank me as they leave.
A bald man buys a large bottle of Liquid Silk lubricant and a cock ring. He has me gift wrap them.
A red headed girl carrying poster board bring in her resume. I remember her from past events at the shop and have the boss come out to meet her. We will start interviewing people next week.
Some regular customers come in and buy a 7-function vibrator. They ask to have it tested in the store to make sure it works.
Wish I could have more mimosa
Monday, May 2, 2011
My first experience on Kink.com
Let me start out with this, I was scared as fuck when I RSVP’d for Stefano’s monthly brunch on Kink.com. As much as I like to pretend that I am all big and intimidating, I am really just a nervous little girl in giant leather boots.
That being said, I first began to be interested in attending an Upper Floor party while watching their free cameras, which by the way is a genius idea. You can go onto Kink.com, click on live shows, and then watch the free cams and even interact and talk to people who are there. So I would spend my down time at work being a voyeur, sometimes asking questions. Being a semi-active member in the Bay Area kink community, I quickly began to recognize and actually meet Upper Floor guests/members at other events. As a sex worker and opportunist I thought, what the hell! Let’s see if I can get my ass onto Kink.com! My goal in general was to be a background person in a shoot. I wanted to be one of those awkwardly standing people watching the dirty stuff go on in front of them. Well, on Sunday I got my filthy wish.
Being a born and raised San Franciscan, it was to my chagrin that I had never noticed this towering building before. About ten minutes away from my childhood house, I started laughing that I had never seen it and how frickin’ giant it is. My date and I quickly found a parking spot right across the castle, covered our slutty outfits with the always-handy college emblemed sweatshirt, and headed towards the doorway. I was relieved to see that we arrived with a group of people, and got to chat with a few before heading in. At the front door a security guard stopped us and asked us to wait, as they were getting set up to let people in. A group of six of us formed, making small talk and complementing each other’s outfits. I was relieved to find that my date and I were not the only newbies to The Upper Floor. A few others were in fact, which instantly made me breathe a little more (corset requiring of course). We were lead into the lobby, where the security member checked our legal names off the guest list, and we gaped in awe at the large lobby. I peeked into offices and the hallways, exited to see glimpses of the off camera locations.
Up the stairs we were lead, to the top floor (duh) and my head began to get all fluffy. This was actually happening. I got a little star struck and a little feeling like a perv that I could recognize most of the people there from watching them on camera. A lovely familiar face, Jack Hammer, welcomed me and lead me to the table in the foyer where The Pope (the director of The Upper Floor) checked IDs and had us fill out forms. And from there I got a little lost, as I didn’t really get directed where to go or what the hell I was supposed to do. As I began to wander down a restricted hall (sorry!) Jack Hammer laughed and led me to the parlor where people were changing and primping themselves. My date and I tightened our corsets, put on our heels, and giggled about this exiting adventure that we were going on. Ready and willing, I put a leash on my date and lead her out towards the lounge. We must have looked so silly poking our heads in before walking in, and gawking at the beautiful decorations and the hot ass guests. I had to remind myself that we were on live feed, and that everything I did was being watched. This made my poise myself a little more, and start to act the part of a “proper” guest. We headed over to the bar, where a sexy bartender made me a mimosa and my date an orange juice. I saw the other newbies whom we met at the door sitting on these decadent couches, and took the opportunity to mingle. We all chatted while other guests arrived, many already knowing each other. My secret to being comfortable and not awkward because I didn’t know anyone was my date’s breasts. They are ginormous, and when I got nervous, I jiggled them and slapped them around. I’m telling you, tits are a great sedative.
Next Maestro Stefanos, the host and Steward of The Upper Floor, called us all into the dining room to give us a quick pep talk and run down on how things were going to go. We were introduced to Kait Snow, who was the only slave for the brunch that day. Let me tell you, Kait Snow is fucking gorgeous, and her ass is just….I don’t have words actually. Being near her was an honor. Anyways, the fan girl in me was minutes away from asking for an autograph to many of the brunch participants. After we got a quick low-down from Maestro, we went back to mingling, and I went back to jiggling tits. According to friends of mine who were watching on camera, they got to catch this lovely action.
The Maestro wrung a giant bell, which signifies that the brunch was beginning, the paid camera was shooting, and food was being served. I stood being Mistress Winters, another host of the brunch, and another person whom I have a huge kink crush on. Tall fem-doms are just porn to me. Tell fem-doms who do porn just made me jittery. Let me say, she is a frickin sweet heart. She greeted us, chatted, and was a general joy to be around. Then the camera came by. I honestly can’t tell you how often I was on camera. I think possibly in the background (score!) and shot for a few seconds. Maestro asked us to introduce ourselves to the viewers. I put on my best face, and nervously mumbled my name and introduced my guest. And yes, I jiggled her breasts again. Like a good little girl, my date made me a plate of food, which was prepared by the lovely Nerine Mechanique, who is Maestro Stefanos’ slave. We made our way to a long table, set with glasses and tableware, and sat in the middle of the left side. I figured this way we had no choice but to be social. I was right, and we got to meet other guests and chat about non-kink things like hair dye and carpet cleaning. Seriously. I went to a porn shoot and got tips on how to properly clean my carpet, and not in a sexual way. A purple haired guy sitting next to me named Noah had long metal finger claws, which he happily dragged over my arms and neck. It put me in a happy place. Maestro made a speech thanking us for coming, letting us know that the table we were eating on was being replaced, so we could fuck on and destroy this one as much as we wanted. Due to all the glasses set up on the table, debatcury did not ensure on that location.
We then moved into the lounge, where some play was beginning. My date and I looked for a place to set up that wouldn’t get in the way of someone else’s scene. While we were negotiating what to do Maestro Stefano’s asked for everyone’s attention. He announced that his slave, Nerine, was going to be given to the house (The Upper Floor) to be trained as a slave. This was a beautiful BDSM moment, and showed the soft side of this seemingly wicked community. They were both teary-eyed as Maestro Stefanos removed his collar from her and replaced it with a chain collar that signifies her slavehood to The Upper Floor. He kissed her and we cheered, honored to be present for this special moment. After the announcement was over, the playing continued. I saw that the St. Andrews cross was free, so my date and I headed off to the parlor to grab our toys. In there we ran into Nerine, who announced to the room how nervous she was. We all congratulated her, showing the love and support that only the kink community can give. By the time we got back, the cross was taken, so I tied her to a beam that was in the center of the room. Here I am going to share my embarrassing moment. As I was warming her up, and giving her lady parts a nice massage, I looked to my right and saw a pre-set up box of condoms, sanitizer, lube, and towel wipes. I grabbed the bottle of lube, squirted some on my hand and began to massage her. I commented that the lube felt weird, and she told me (very unhappily) that I had been rubbing hand sanitizer on her hoo-hoo. Holy crap! I was so nervous I didn’t notice what bottle I picked up. I quickly cleaned her off, apologized profusely, and found the lube. First time I do anything sexual on camera, and I rub alcohol onto someone’s clit. Fail
After a little play, her arms began to hurt, so we decided to move to a different area. I noticed that a block in the center of a big open space was being unused. I cuffed her to the box, and finally began to proper play. To our left there was a big scene going on that the camera guy was focusing on. It was a school girl/principal scene, which Maestro Stefanos joined in on a little bit. I have to say I was a little jealous. Maestro Stefanos is a very mesmerizing man, and I’m pretty sure he’s one of the few guys I would ever bottom for (I’m a bit of a picky person when it comes to that). Anyways, I have my girl cuffed, stuffed with toys, vibrated, clothes pinned, the works. She is screaming her cute little ass off. The camera guy came by twice to look at us, but mainly focused on the schoolgirl scene. I can’t blame him, it was kind of adorable, but he missed me being squirted all over. We decided it was break time (we had been playing for about an hour) and sat down near friends of mine who were playing with electricity. For science sake, I leant them my metal dildo so we could see if the electricity could be felt while being fucked with it. Apparently it can. Hooray for science.
Keep in mind that all around me was screaming, yipping, crying, smacks, buzzing (from a cattle prod) and lord knows what else. It was the most distracting music to my ears. By this time things were dying down, time passed by pretty quickly. While my date and I sat and watched an adorable D/s scene, I decided to experiment while breast ties (did I mention her giant titties?). Then we sat and watched while Maestro Stefanos talked to viewers, auctioned off his clothes for a fundraiser, and said goodbye to the viewers. When the paying cameras turned off, they put some music on, and we lingered and decompressed a little bit before heading out. We went back to the parlor, collected out things, said thanks to Maestro Stefanos for having us there, and made our way down the wide stairs, giggling the whole time about our first adventure in porn.
The End.
But hopefully not!
That being said, I first began to be interested in attending an Upper Floor party while watching their free cameras, which by the way is a genius idea. You can go onto Kink.com, click on live shows, and then watch the free cams and even interact and talk to people who are there. So I would spend my down time at work being a voyeur, sometimes asking questions. Being a semi-active member in the Bay Area kink community, I quickly began to recognize and actually meet Upper Floor guests/members at other events. As a sex worker and opportunist I thought, what the hell! Let’s see if I can get my ass onto Kink.com! My goal in general was to be a background person in a shoot. I wanted to be one of those awkwardly standing people watching the dirty stuff go on in front of them. Well, on Sunday I got my filthy wish.
Being a born and raised San Franciscan, it was to my chagrin that I had never noticed this towering building before. About ten minutes away from my childhood house, I started laughing that I had never seen it and how frickin’ giant it is. My date and I quickly found a parking spot right across the castle, covered our slutty outfits with the always-handy college emblemed sweatshirt, and headed towards the doorway. I was relieved to see that we arrived with a group of people, and got to chat with a few before heading in. At the front door a security guard stopped us and asked us to wait, as they were getting set up to let people in. A group of six of us formed, making small talk and complementing each other’s outfits. I was relieved to find that my date and I were not the only newbies to The Upper Floor. A few others were in fact, which instantly made me breathe a little more (corset requiring of course). We were lead into the lobby, where the security member checked our legal names off the guest list, and we gaped in awe at the large lobby. I peeked into offices and the hallways, exited to see glimpses of the off camera locations.
Up the stairs we were lead, to the top floor (duh) and my head began to get all fluffy. This was actually happening. I got a little star struck and a little feeling like a perv that I could recognize most of the people there from watching them on camera. A lovely familiar face, Jack Hammer, welcomed me and lead me to the table in the foyer where The Pope (the director of The Upper Floor) checked IDs and had us fill out forms. And from there I got a little lost, as I didn’t really get directed where to go or what the hell I was supposed to do. As I began to wander down a restricted hall (sorry!) Jack Hammer laughed and led me to the parlor where people were changing and primping themselves. My date and I tightened our corsets, put on our heels, and giggled about this exiting adventure that we were going on. Ready and willing, I put a leash on my date and lead her out towards the lounge. We must have looked so silly poking our heads in before walking in, and gawking at the beautiful decorations and the hot ass guests. I had to remind myself that we were on live feed, and that everything I did was being watched. This made my poise myself a little more, and start to act the part of a “proper” guest. We headed over to the bar, where a sexy bartender made me a mimosa and my date an orange juice. I saw the other newbies whom we met at the door sitting on these decadent couches, and took the opportunity to mingle. We all chatted while other guests arrived, many already knowing each other. My secret to being comfortable and not awkward because I didn’t know anyone was my date’s breasts. They are ginormous, and when I got nervous, I jiggled them and slapped them around. I’m telling you, tits are a great sedative.
Next Maestro Stefanos, the host and Steward of The Upper Floor, called us all into the dining room to give us a quick pep talk and run down on how things were going to go. We were introduced to Kait Snow, who was the only slave for the brunch that day. Let me tell you, Kait Snow is fucking gorgeous, and her ass is just….I don’t have words actually. Being near her was an honor. Anyways, the fan girl in me was minutes away from asking for an autograph to many of the brunch participants. After we got a quick low-down from Maestro, we went back to mingling, and I went back to jiggling tits. According to friends of mine who were watching on camera, they got to catch this lovely action.
The Maestro wrung a giant bell, which signifies that the brunch was beginning, the paid camera was shooting, and food was being served. I stood being Mistress Winters, another host of the brunch, and another person whom I have a huge kink crush on. Tall fem-doms are just porn to me. Tell fem-doms who do porn just made me jittery. Let me say, she is a frickin sweet heart. She greeted us, chatted, and was a general joy to be around. Then the camera came by. I honestly can’t tell you how often I was on camera. I think possibly in the background (score!) and shot for a few seconds. Maestro asked us to introduce ourselves to the viewers. I put on my best face, and nervously mumbled my name and introduced my guest. And yes, I jiggled her breasts again. Like a good little girl, my date made me a plate of food, which was prepared by the lovely Nerine Mechanique, who is Maestro Stefanos’ slave. We made our way to a long table, set with glasses and tableware, and sat in the middle of the left side. I figured this way we had no choice but to be social. I was right, and we got to meet other guests and chat about non-kink things like hair dye and carpet cleaning. Seriously. I went to a porn shoot and got tips on how to properly clean my carpet, and not in a sexual way. A purple haired guy sitting next to me named Noah had long metal finger claws, which he happily dragged over my arms and neck. It put me in a happy place. Maestro made a speech thanking us for coming, letting us know that the table we were eating on was being replaced, so we could fuck on and destroy this one as much as we wanted. Due to all the glasses set up on the table, debatcury did not ensure on that location.
We then moved into the lounge, where some play was beginning. My date and I looked for a place to set up that wouldn’t get in the way of someone else’s scene. While we were negotiating what to do Maestro Stefano’s asked for everyone’s attention. He announced that his slave, Nerine, was going to be given to the house (The Upper Floor) to be trained as a slave. This was a beautiful BDSM moment, and showed the soft side of this seemingly wicked community. They were both teary-eyed as Maestro Stefanos removed his collar from her and replaced it with a chain collar that signifies her slavehood to The Upper Floor. He kissed her and we cheered, honored to be present for this special moment. After the announcement was over, the playing continued. I saw that the St. Andrews cross was free, so my date and I headed off to the parlor to grab our toys. In there we ran into Nerine, who announced to the room how nervous she was. We all congratulated her, showing the love and support that only the kink community can give. By the time we got back, the cross was taken, so I tied her to a beam that was in the center of the room. Here I am going to share my embarrassing moment. As I was warming her up, and giving her lady parts a nice massage, I looked to my right and saw a pre-set up box of condoms, sanitizer, lube, and towel wipes. I grabbed the bottle of lube, squirted some on my hand and began to massage her. I commented that the lube felt weird, and she told me (very unhappily) that I had been rubbing hand sanitizer on her hoo-hoo. Holy crap! I was so nervous I didn’t notice what bottle I picked up. I quickly cleaned her off, apologized profusely, and found the lube. First time I do anything sexual on camera, and I rub alcohol onto someone’s clit. Fail
After a little play, her arms began to hurt, so we decided to move to a different area. I noticed that a block in the center of a big open space was being unused. I cuffed her to the box, and finally began to proper play. To our left there was a big scene going on that the camera guy was focusing on. It was a school girl/principal scene, which Maestro Stefanos joined in on a little bit. I have to say I was a little jealous. Maestro Stefanos is a very mesmerizing man, and I’m pretty sure he’s one of the few guys I would ever bottom for (I’m a bit of a picky person when it comes to that). Anyways, I have my girl cuffed, stuffed with toys, vibrated, clothes pinned, the works. She is screaming her cute little ass off. The camera guy came by twice to look at us, but mainly focused on the schoolgirl scene. I can’t blame him, it was kind of adorable, but he missed me being squirted all over. We decided it was break time (we had been playing for about an hour) and sat down near friends of mine who were playing with electricity. For science sake, I leant them my metal dildo so we could see if the electricity could be felt while being fucked with it. Apparently it can. Hooray for science.
Keep in mind that all around me was screaming, yipping, crying, smacks, buzzing (from a cattle prod) and lord knows what else. It was the most distracting music to my ears. By this time things were dying down, time passed by pretty quickly. While my date and I sat and watched an adorable D/s scene, I decided to experiment while breast ties (did I mention her giant titties?). Then we sat and watched while Maestro Stefanos talked to viewers, auctioned off his clothes for a fundraiser, and said goodbye to the viewers. When the paying cameras turned off, they put some music on, and we lingered and decompressed a little bit before heading out. We went back to the parlor, collected out things, said thanks to Maestro Stefanos for having us there, and made our way down the wide stairs, giggling the whole time about our first adventure in porn.
The End.
But hopefully not!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Colors and Sex Toys
There are many aspects that may one your eye to a certain sex toy. Perhaps it is phallic and that arouses you, perhaps it is not, which turns you on even more. Maybe it has the right pulsation, or buzzes ever so softly. Some of the most common feedback I get on the sex toys in our shop is about their color. Today I was helping a woman find the right vibrator for her and she refused to even look at one because it didn't come in the right color. This happens often. I believe we choose toys based on what appeals to us and is arousing, after all, we are having sex with it, so shouldn't we be attracted to it? So it would make sense that if someone if not turned on by the color green, they would veer away from toys that color.
My favorite observation about color revolves around gender. Sex toys come in a large variety of colors, but pink and purple dominate the market. This is gendered marketing, assuming that all girls like pink and purple, so they will want these certain colors on their sex toys. This form of marketing sometimes works, as many women who come in (usually to buy their first toy) will go with something pink and light colored to feel at ease. My favorite moments is when women refuse to buy anything pink/purple as a way to defy this gendered industry. I have even had customers announce to me that they didn't want to buy "pink shit."
At the counter at the shop we have a display for bullet vibrators. These small clit vibes are usually bought last minute as an add on with a purchase. At least we keep them there for that reason. Through these quick purchases it is fun to figure out and guess which color someone will buy. The bullets come in four colors: pink, purple, blue, and green.
The pink vibes always sell first, followed by purple, then blue, and lastly green. A friend of mine once summarized the gender theory of color vibrators pretty well, "Pink is for girls, blue is for defiant girls, purple is for queers, and no one ever wants green." As blunt and slightly off putting this statement may be, it's pretty true. Time after time I have watched young girly girls squeal and giggle and grab for the pink vibrators. I have seen lesbian and gender queer couples and individuals prefer purple toys due to it being a gender neutral shade. I have sold blue vibrators to customers who have stated that they refuse to buy "pink shit". And the green vibrators end up piling up, being the choice for customers when there is no other option.
My favorite observation about color revolves around gender. Sex toys come in a large variety of colors, but pink and purple dominate the market. This is gendered marketing, assuming that all girls like pink and purple, so they will want these certain colors on their sex toys. This form of marketing sometimes works, as many women who come in (usually to buy their first toy) will go with something pink and light colored to feel at ease. My favorite moments is when women refuse to buy anything pink/purple as a way to defy this gendered industry. I have even had customers announce to me that they didn't want to buy "pink shit."
At the counter at the shop we have a display for bullet vibrators. These small clit vibes are usually bought last minute as an add on with a purchase. At least we keep them there for that reason. Through these quick purchases it is fun to figure out and guess which color someone will buy. The bullets come in four colors: pink, purple, blue, and green.
The pink vibes always sell first, followed by purple, then blue, and lastly green. A friend of mine once summarized the gender theory of color vibrators pretty well, "Pink is for girls, blue is for defiant girls, purple is for queers, and no one ever wants green." As blunt and slightly off putting this statement may be, it's pretty true. Time after time I have watched young girly girls squeal and giggle and grab for the pink vibrators. I have seen lesbian and gender queer couples and individuals prefer purple toys due to it being a gender neutral shade. I have sold blue vibrators to customers who have stated that they refuse to buy "pink shit". And the green vibrators end up piling up, being the choice for customers when there is no other option.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Dating sites and sex workers
Recently I joined a social dating site to see what all the hype was about. I have only had my account a short time, and being a proud sex shop worker and educator, I have it written on my profile what my career is. Due to labeling myself as a sex-positive person I have been getting dozens of messages per day. Some are really great and I have met some awesome people, and some just make me shake my head with the silliness of humanity. Here are my top twelve so far.
1. "If I were a short, chubby virgin with a small dick and I wanted to learn how to use sex toys and experiment with a much taller woman, would that turn you on? What if I masturbated one or more time per day and I like to cook? "
2."Lets fuck"
3."Girl, you are so beautiful...I would go to battle against a family of silverback gorillas with only a plastic wiffle bat as my weapon just to have the oppurtunity to split a fifth of vodka with the male nurse that was in the delivery room when you were born. "
4."Before I get way to far ahead of myself I better be up front with you. Yes I do have a girlfriend and we have been together for a while. She is aware of what I'm doing, she ain't thrilled with the idea but understands. She dosent want anything to do with what I'm doing ( out of site out of mind).
Now back to the kink, I love cyber/phone/text sex and photo swapping, I don't wanna screw anybody but my girlfriend but a mans got fantasies! I was hoping this is something you would enjoy or know someone who would!
I do not have a pic of me on here but am more than willing to share one. The pic I do have up here is one of dr. Venture from the venture bros. I do resemble him more than I'd like but that's life. I am bald, long beard that comes to a point, and on the skinneyer side. I'd love to here back from you. You do seem to be one of the few honest people on here. Most are so full of shit I can smell it from here. "
5."Hey naughty girl.. I think you need a spanking.."
6."You should message me and see whats up tonight.. Im in need of some good company. You seem like a lot of fun. We should get to know each other..."
Two hours later
"You seem like a very freeing person.. I really dont have ant brutal honesty in my life right now.."
6 hours later
"sorry Im really bad at this "
7."u are hot as fuck... i may not look it but i am on ur wave length... lets chat "
8. "I would love to meet a sexy woman like you to hang out with.. I realize I dont have any pics, but, that is due to wanting to keep my professional and private life seperate... If we connect I would be happy to email you pics or trade xell numbers and send pics that way. Anyhow I hope to hear from you, I have a 12 pack, a hotel room and nothing to do and noone to do it with... ;) "
9. "love to fuck the hell out of you..
get back to me.... "
10. "hey, you think you are good at talking about sex?..well i dont think yo are as good at it as i am, would be cool to chat, you are amazing, i could teach u some hawaii stuff "
11. "Hey you look sweet really cute and cuddly lets fuck"
My response "No thank you"
"bitch i want to tear your mouth open and not let you breathe"
12. "want to taste 8) "
1. "If I were a short, chubby virgin with a small dick and I wanted to learn how to use sex toys and experiment with a much taller woman, would that turn you on? What if I masturbated one or more time per day and I like to cook? "
2."Lets fuck"
3."Girl, you are so beautiful...I would go to battle against a family of silverback gorillas with only a plastic wiffle bat as my weapon just to have the oppurtunity to split a fifth of vodka with the male nurse that was in the delivery room when you were born. "
4."Before I get way to far ahead of myself I better be up front with you. Yes I do have a girlfriend and we have been together for a while. She is aware of what I'm doing, she ain't thrilled with the idea but understands. She dosent want anything to do with what I'm doing ( out of site out of mind).
Now back to the kink, I love cyber/phone/text sex and photo swapping, I don't wanna screw anybody but my girlfriend but a mans got fantasies! I was hoping this is something you would enjoy or know someone who would!
I do not have a pic of me on here but am more than willing to share one. The pic I do have up here is one of dr. Venture from the venture bros. I do resemble him more than I'd like but that's life. I am bald, long beard that comes to a point, and on the skinneyer side. I'd love to here back from you. You do seem to be one of the few honest people on here. Most are so full of shit I can smell it from here. "
5."Hey naughty girl.. I think you need a spanking.."
6."You should message me and see whats up tonight.. Im in need of some good company. You seem like a lot of fun. We should get to know each other..."
Two hours later
"You seem like a very freeing person.. I really dont have ant brutal honesty in my life right now.."
6 hours later
"sorry Im really bad at this "
7."u are hot as fuck... i may not look it but i am on ur wave length... lets chat "
8. "I would love to meet a sexy woman like you to hang out with.. I realize I dont have any pics, but, that is due to wanting to keep my professional and private life seperate... If we connect I would be happy to email you pics or trade xell numbers and send pics that way. Anyhow I hope to hear from you, I have a 12 pack, a hotel room and nothing to do and noone to do it with... ;) "
9. "love to fuck the hell out of you..
get back to me.... "
10. "hey, you think you are good at talking about sex?..well i dont think yo are as good at it as i am, would be cool to chat, you are amazing, i could teach u some hawaii stuff "
11. "Hey you look sweet really cute and cuddly lets fuck"
My response "No thank you"
"bitch i want to tear your mouth open and not let you breathe"
12. "want to taste 8) "
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Annnd they came back
So the couple came back (the one from last post) to return the vibrator they bought from me last night. They claimed it didn't vibrate properly after they used it. So I put my rubber gloves on and tested the toy with batteries from our shop. No surprise, the toy worked fine. The guy still wanted to return it. I had to get my boss to explain that since the toy worked fine, we couldn't take it back. To calm him down she gave him a free mini bottle of lubricant. He still ended up buying the vibrator that he wanted to buy last night. And of course, she payed for it.
I just hope he doesn't try to use it for anal
I just hope he doesn't try to use it for anal
Friday, April 15, 2011
Sex Safety vs. Financial Santiy (and anal sex!)
Sex toys can be expensive, I'm not the first one in this industry to admit it. I get customers every day (some in the store this very minute) rolling their eyes and groaning over the price of the toys they are looking at. People come in with a set idea of how much they want to spend, like a supermarket, sometimes with lists and set items that they are going to buy and leave with much lighter wallets, also like a supermarket. The reason that many sex toys are so pricy is due to quality.
You may be reading this thinking "Hey! My sex toys weren't expensive! What the heck is she talking about?" Look at the packages your toys come in. Do they have ingredients? No? Research the material that your toy is, and what cheap chemicals are going into it. Many sex toy companies thrive off of cheap toys because they get away with it all too easily. Some people are embaressed about buying toys, so they will just grab whatever is being sold, and not think to research the product any further. People that do look into products and ingredients are often aware that sex toys that tend to be a bit more costly happen to be higher quality. When I say costly, I don't mean hundreds of dollars. Many high quality toys can be between $15-$20, which is still a lot more than their cheaper counter parts that can be found for around five bucks.
My work is one of the few proud sex stores that actually look into their products and the materials that go into them. We only sell high grade quality toys, which means no toxic chemicals, or gross jelly ingredients. Our silicone is %100, and our plastics are medical grade. Yes, this makes them a few dollars more, but we'd rather sell a fifty dollar toy and go to sleep at night knowing our products are poisening our customers than sell things quickly and cheaply.
It amazes me how much people will sacrifice health for an extra dollar. Mind you, I understand eating cheaper food and trying to pay as little as possible for clothes. As an avid thrift store shopping and dumpster diver, I do my best to try not to waste money. Yet, when it comes to sex toys and sexual health, trying to be cheap can be harmful to ones health. Note: this is not me condemning anyone who can't afford expensive sex toys. This is me wagging my finger at people being stubborn and putting themselves at risk when they can afford a better option. I hope I am conveying my thoughts correctly.
This couple came in today that was a pure example of how frustrating some people can be in this area. After browsing and asking questions, the guy asks me if I knew anything about orgasms and anal sex. I ask if he wants to know about male or female, and he says both. Lovely! I love couples who are open to anal exploration, as a sex educator and perv, it brings me glee. I start explaining how to find the g-spot anally for her, and about prostate stimulation for him. The guy then holds up a bullet vibrator and tells me he is going to buy it for this purpose. Alarm bells start going off in my head. When exploring anal play, you MUST use a toy that has a flair or flanged base. The anus can always contract at any moment, and if you are using a toy that doesn't have a wide base, the toy gets sucked right up.
This is "The Big End" by Platinum toys. See how it's base is wider than the neck of the toy? This ensures that it will not get sucked up and lost in your body. 
This is "The Little Chroma" by JimmyJane. See how there is no flare, and how it is a straight line? Imagine what would happen if you put this in your butt and then your muscles contract and you loose your grip. That readers, is a pleasant trip to the hospital for you.
I explain this all to the couple. Apparently the woman already knew this, and been telling him that the $18 toy he wanted to get was not safe to use, but he was determined since it was our cheapest toy. I showed him similar toys, but since they were all about ten dollars more, he refused. He them picked out a similar toy that had a longer handle, stating that if he held a good grip on it, nothing bad could happen. I explain to him that it isn't worth risking the trip to the hospital, and his response was that if it did get sucked into his butt, he could just use lube and dig it out. Umm....really? I again told him that there is still the possibility that he would need to go to the emergency room. His lady friend was telling him this too, but he kept shutting us both down.
In the end they still bought something not entirelly anal safe (it was a vibrator with a long handle that slightly bulged out, not built for anal play) but more safe than what he wanted. Since it was a few dollars more, the woman paid for the whole thing. The guy even stopped me from running the card to make sure she didn't want to think again about getting something cheaper. She looked like she was ready to smack him.
The moral of the story here is don't sacrifice your sexual health, expecially your anus, for saving a few bucks. There are better things to be thrifty about.
You may be reading this thinking "Hey! My sex toys weren't expensive! What the heck is she talking about?" Look at the packages your toys come in. Do they have ingredients? No? Research the material that your toy is, and what cheap chemicals are going into it. Many sex toy companies thrive off of cheap toys because they get away with it all too easily. Some people are embaressed about buying toys, so they will just grab whatever is being sold, and not think to research the product any further. People that do look into products and ingredients are often aware that sex toys that tend to be a bit more costly happen to be higher quality. When I say costly, I don't mean hundreds of dollars. Many high quality toys can be between $15-$20, which is still a lot more than their cheaper counter parts that can be found for around five bucks.
My work is one of the few proud sex stores that actually look into their products and the materials that go into them. We only sell high grade quality toys, which means no toxic chemicals, or gross jelly ingredients. Our silicone is %100, and our plastics are medical grade. Yes, this makes them a few dollars more, but we'd rather sell a fifty dollar toy and go to sleep at night knowing our products are poisening our customers than sell things quickly and cheaply.
It amazes me how much people will sacrifice health for an extra dollar. Mind you, I understand eating cheaper food and trying to pay as little as possible for clothes. As an avid thrift store shopping and dumpster diver, I do my best to try not to waste money. Yet, when it comes to sex toys and sexual health, trying to be cheap can be harmful to ones health. Note: this is not me condemning anyone who can't afford expensive sex toys. This is me wagging my finger at people being stubborn and putting themselves at risk when they can afford a better option. I hope I am conveying my thoughts correctly.
This couple came in today that was a pure example of how frustrating some people can be in this area. After browsing and asking questions, the guy asks me if I knew anything about orgasms and anal sex. I ask if he wants to know about male or female, and he says both. Lovely! I love couples who are open to anal exploration, as a sex educator and perv, it brings me glee. I start explaining how to find the g-spot anally for her, and about prostate stimulation for him. The guy then holds up a bullet vibrator and tells me he is going to buy it for this purpose. Alarm bells start going off in my head. When exploring anal play, you MUST use a toy that has a flair or flanged base. The anus can always contract at any moment, and if you are using a toy that doesn't have a wide base, the toy gets sucked right up.
This is "The Big End" by Platinum toys. See how it's base is wider than the neck of the toy? This ensures that it will not get sucked up and lost in your body. 
This is "The Little Chroma" by JimmyJane. See how there is no flare, and how it is a straight line? Imagine what would happen if you put this in your butt and then your muscles contract and you loose your grip. That readers, is a pleasant trip to the hospital for you.I explain this all to the couple. Apparently the woman already knew this, and been telling him that the $18 toy he wanted to get was not safe to use, but he was determined since it was our cheapest toy. I showed him similar toys, but since they were all about ten dollars more, he refused. He them picked out a similar toy that had a longer handle, stating that if he held a good grip on it, nothing bad could happen. I explain to him that it isn't worth risking the trip to the hospital, and his response was that if it did get sucked into his butt, he could just use lube and dig it out. Umm....really? I again told him that there is still the possibility that he would need to go to the emergency room. His lady friend was telling him this too, but he kept shutting us both down.
In the end they still bought something not entirelly anal safe (it was a vibrator with a long handle that slightly bulged out, not built for anal play) but more safe than what he wanted. Since it was a few dollars more, the woman paid for the whole thing. The guy even stopped me from running the card to make sure she didn't want to think again about getting something cheaper. She looked like she was ready to smack him.
The moral of the story here is don't sacrifice your sexual health, expecially your anus, for saving a few bucks. There are better things to be thrifty about.
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