Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Bringing Your Daughter into Sex Shops for the First Time

This post is focused on the case of mothers bring their daughters (who are over 18) into adult shops for the first time. This is a much more common parent child combination verses mother and son, daughter and father, etc, at least in my experience. Sometimes these interactions are awkward, sometimes they are a great learning experience, and sometimes they are damaging. I think it's important for parents to think about certain aspects before taking their adult child into a sex shop.

Before bringing your daughter into the shop, think about whether or not she actually wants to go in. It would be best to talk about it before hand, and discuss what you expect to get out of it. Is this supposed to be educational? Funny? Does she intend on purchasing anything, or is this a walk around? This may sound silly and overly precautious, but springing a surprise trip to the vibrator store on your teenage daughter can be a very traumatizing thing. I once saw a mother literally drag her daughter by her arm into the shop and then announce to the staff that this is her first time in. The girl covered her face with her hands and stayed deadly quiet as her mother twisted her arm around the shop and explained what these buzzing things were. I can almost assure you that the daughter will not return to a shop for a very long time. An adult shop is for people who can behave like adults, parent and child included. It is not appropriate to force a daughter, no matter if she's 18 or 48 to come into a store without her consent.

Do you really want to know this much personal information about her, and/or does she want you to know? Sex is an intimate thing, and sex shops are there to help inform you about pleasure and explore your sexuality. Some parents don't want to know how their children express their sexual desires, just like some children don't want their parents to know how and and why they have sex. I have had mothers bring in their daughters to buy a sex toy, but when the daughter starts to explain what she likes, the mother freaks out. When people start to freak out over other peoples sexual preferences, it creates a sense of shame for the person who just expressed it. I had a daughter explain to me that she wasn't having orgasms during sex and wanted something for external stimulation. When her mother heard this she started freaking out by giggling and making perverted jokes to her daughter. The daughter stopped asking questions and chuckled uncomfortably. The daughter was feeling shame, just as much as her mother was feeling uncomfortable. Needless to day, both of them didn't buy anything, nor ask any more educational questions.

I once saw a mother daughter interaction where they came in together, asked some questions, separated for a while for private shopping, and then reunited at the end. The mother didn't ask questions about her daughters intentions with the things she purchased, and the daughter in turn didn't feel shamed for being there. Sex toys weren't forced upon her and instead were seen as a positive addition to her sexual exploration.

Think about what you want out if the trip before you shop!

Monday, January 23, 2012


I recently got in a discussion with someone on the topic of "three-somes". This was brought up because my work has recently started carrying a larger variety of guides and manuals on the art of multiple sex partner interactions. The person I was speaking to started telling me about how much she loved threesomes, so I asked bluntly if she had sexual interactions with all the participants, or was it a V-some? She wasn't familiar with the term, and though I can't remember where I originally adopted it from, I will share it with you.

V-Some: A sexual encounter where two partners focus on the third partner, but do not have any sexual interest/encounters with each other. For example, a version of a three-some that you may be familiar with is a guy and two girls, with the two girls servicing him. This would be considered a "v-some", since the girls are not interacting with each other.

I don't use this term to deny anyone the right to brag about their three-some experiences, but when I hear the term "three-some" I will assume that all partners are interacting in a pleasurable sexual manner with each other and are not just focused on one person. If someone uses the term "v-some" it makes it clearer to me in the story who is having sex with whom.

A fun technicality term for your multiple sex partner needs