Saturday, September 25, 2010

And Fall rushes in

This is a college town. As much as the locals hate to admit it, the university here is pretty dominate. School started this week, and it is definitly noticable. Young groups of adults wandering around big eyed, trying to find their way to a bookstore or coffee shop. New friends grasping for life to each other so that they survive their year.

The store is slightly effected as well. We get more "drifters", youth who wander in giggling and poking at everything and then leave quickly. When I was a student I gave sex tours. I took groups of students around the town and taught them about safe sex and took them to local sex shops and health stores. I also took them to the on-campus health center. They became pretty popular, and after I graduated, one of the girls in my original tour took over. I wonder if they are going to do it this year. It's extremely important to inform students about their resources for sexual topics, be it health or recreational.

We give a 10% student discount that I had started when I was a student. The students appreciate it, and it gets the word out about our store. But honestly, students are not our most common customer. They also don't spend that much money. Twenty bucks at the most.

Oh well, hopefully they are getting their first orgasms out of them.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Shoplifting Sex

As much as I'd love to say we've never been shoplifted, it would be a dirty lie. Though it is not a common event, things do tend to disappear every once in a while. This morning I came into work and noticed that a few of the display items on the shelves were missing. Small clit vibrators mostly, but it was still irritating.

Two years ago, at our grand opening party I caught an older man putting vibrators in his bag. I stopped him and told him to pay for them or get out. He did end up buying all of them, around $60 worth of product. The same man came back a year later and walked out of the store with a Hitachi Magic Wand. I wasn't there, but the store owner actually chased him down the street and took it back after threatening him with cops.

I have only once chased someone down, but that was because she walked out of the store with an expensive item that didn't ring up properly. She told me that she was hopping I didn't notice.

In general, I hate watching customers every move. I find it a little creepy. My trick is to do work on the computer, and occasionally glance at them. But if there is more than 6 people in the shop, I do walk around and watch. Our shop may be small, but vibrators are smaller.

Sometimes I joke with customers that if I ever get robbed or catch someone shoplifting I am going to chase them down with the Njoy 11, our 3 pound aluminum dildo.

Yeah, you would not want to steal from someone wielding one of these babies.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Awkward Telephone

Calls have been coming in all day. Some have been really awkward to the point that I can't tell if they are a joke.
My responses are in parenthesis

"Do you carry dildos? (yes, we have a large variety.)I am gay and want toys. Do you have gay toys? (We carry a large assortment to toys, you can check out our website if you want to look at the selection.) How far away are you from LA? (8 hours. You can order off of our website) That's okay, I'll drive there." *Hangs up*

"Do you carry men's toys? (Yes, is there anything specific you are looking for?) Do you have blow up dolls? (No) Do you have things that look like porn stars vaginas? (No, we do carry the fleshlight that looks like a vagina, but not anyone specific) But it looks like a vagina? (yes, there is a picture on our website if you want to see it.) Is it under anal toys? (No, it is under penis pleasures) But it looks like a vagina? (yes) Do you carry a variety of vaginas? (no, just the one kind) Does anyone else carry vaginas? (yes, this store *gives address*) Okay *Hangs up*


Apologies for the lack on entries. I decided to take a needed vacation and go to Burning Man this year.

Being away from the store for at least two weeks is pretty odd. I start to miss the shop and my interactions with people. I begin to have dreams about work, usually involving me being late to shifts or giant changes in the store that leave me panicking or confused.

My first weekend back has been pretty full. There is a local Greek festival happening right outside the shop. The smell of fresh gyros waif in as well as people tipsy off ouzo. Working during the festival is one of my favorite pastimes. There is a large surge of people coming in to check out the store, in addition to live music and snacks that my friends dropping by give me. (says while eating tzatziki sauce and pita bread)

And of course, there is more unique interactions:

-Dozens of couples coming for the first time walking around the store together. Most do not buy anything, but it's pretty frickin cute to watch.

-Three women (on separate occasions) telling me this is their first time in the store because they have been too scared to come in and the festival give them a excuse to drop by

-Drunk guys pulling their embarrassed friends into the store so that they can make an ass of themselves. Examples: Loudly remarking on masturbation sleeves, paddling their friends, buying penis shaped candy for girlfriends. Thankfully I did not have to ask anyone to leave (last year there was an incident with drunks throwing dildos across the room at each other). Did get one girl storm out in embarrassment when her friend started talking about "pussy" very loud.

-Awkward drunk guy came in to ask if we we're Greek and started telling me about how the police we're after him for bugging people at the festival. He ate a gyro sloppily over the counter and I had to clean the juices he dropped after he left.

-Man who worked at the festival (think he was a food vendor)came in to ask politely if the event helped or hindered our business. I explained to him that usually it helped, but since this year for some reason there is booth blocking the view of our store from the street, it isn't that great. There are still people coming in, but not as many as we'd like. He then asked for mint flavored condoms.

-Man came in and bought an anal plug and asked for us to hold it for him so he could walk around the festival without our store bag.

Well, let's see how Sunday works out.

Also, if you have any questions that you want me to answer please email me at I'd love to hear from you!