Friday, December 24, 2010

Twas the day before X-mas

So today has actually been pretty calm. All week the shop has been buzzing with people, so it's a nice feeling that today isn't so crazy. Sales are still high though, which is always the important factor to slow days. It's good that it's slow, but it's great that the few sales that I have done are big ones.

So far the most popular item is porn. Specifically, female ejaculation porn. I have already sold half a dozen videos about female ejaculation, from instructional, to "Squirt Girls". And this is all to different customers, who all seem to want the same item.

Cock rings is the second most popular item of the day.

Lots of lube as well. You can tell that people are getting ready for warm nights at home. That, and they tell me that they are buying presents for their partners.

One couple bought over $400 worth of product. They left with huge smiles. I love sexually healthy couples.

Anyways, happy holidays to you. Keep warm, masturbate often.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Avi Answers

Just fyi, I just join, which is a questions/answer site. So you may be seeing updates from people asking me questions about a variety of topics.

Last night I got a customer emailing me because I recommended the wrong porn to him for his wife. In his message he said that I had told him that I hadn't seen it, but he still bought it. He then talked about mistrusting me now due to that. Honestly, I don't remember this customer, but I feel bad that I let him down. But in fairness to me, I had told him I hadn't seen it, and I also am not a wizard when it comes to magically recommending porn. Everyone has a different preference, and saying "I want Fem Domme porn" doesn't really specify things for me. Well, let's try again.

Honestly, the best Fem Domme porn I've seen is on

Sex, gender, life. Ask me anything

I know it says "Ask me anything", but what would REALLY be out of bounds (outside of clear abuse)?

Nothing, as a sex educator and kink lifestylist, I'm pretty open to answering anything. It's kind of my job. If it's stupid or ignorant, I might just get annoyed.

Sex, gender, life

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Children and the Sex Shop

While walking to work today I passed the downtown civic center where The Nutcracker is playing. There were children everywhere. I chuckled to myself as I walked across the street to open the store. I'm pretty sure that sometime during the show I'm going to get a parent who sneaked away in order to buy some sex stuff.

Anyways. Children. Our store is 18+ (duh) but there are some times when we do let children in the store. Not in a creepy way or to sell them anything, but there are certain situations where kids are allowed in, or at least, times where I have interacted with them in terms of the shop.

The most common situation which I have come across is when a couple, or a pair of friends, shop together and they take turns coming into the store. One will wait outside with the children, and the other will scope around. Then they switch off. If it is a couple, usually the second person who comes in buys things.

Another option is the parent bringing their child in with them. Here I have a very specific rule. If they are not old enough to recognize where they are, are not going to grab things, then it's okay. Usually this means less than a year old, where the parent brings a stroller or carries them in their arms. If the child can run around, they are probably too old to be in here. It also makes the other customers uncomfortable to have a toddler around when they are shopping for sex. Or so I assume. Parents use their own judgement, I've never actually told anyone yet to leave due to them bringing their kids in.

The only awkward situation I get into with kids is when they wander in. The location of our store is the prime area where festivals happen, and where there are festivals, there is lots of kids running around away from supervision. Sometimes children wander into our store, on accident or on purpose. I then have to politely shoo them out. I need to make sure not to be mean, but have them leave the store as quickly as possible. I make sure to be polite and not touch them. Sometimes parents come in after them, horrified, but I make sure to be sweet and unalarmed. After all, no one likes a freaked out parent.

At Halloween one year I stood outside with candy for the downtown trick or treating. It may sound weird on paper that a sex shop worker stood outside her work with a basket of candy to give to children, but it wasn't. Parents actually really liked it, especially that I stood outside for four hours just to give out candy.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Bitch of a Customer

Okay, so my day hasn't started off so well. Maybe I'm in a bad mood because my only job assignment for the day is to hand clean the plants, which takes forever and covers my in dirt and dead bugs.

Anyways, my only customer of the day so far was a bitch to deal with. So she walks in straight to the counter, asking about penis enhancement toys. After I lead her over to the sleeves she picks up a masturbation sleeve and asks if it would work. She gets a little pissy at me when I explain that I am not sure, since I have only sold it for male masturbation purposes. Anyways, she takes one. Next we head over to the dildos (apparently I am her personal shopper) where she examines one that she saw on our website. For this particular dildo we don't have a demo model out since we only have one in stock, and she starts whining that she wants to know what it feels like (even though a dildo made out of the same material was on display). She keeps bugging me until I open the package so she can feel it. After a while of comparing it and complaining about it's thickness, she says she would like to buy it. Then she informs me that she wants to buy it, but doesn't want one that has been open.

I take a breath. Not only did she already know that it was a closed package as well as our last one, she nagged me until I opened it for her. And now she demands a closed one. I explain to her that this was the first time it was opened, and that it is made out of non-porous high grade silicone that can be easily washed with soap and water. She starts complaining that she doesn't want to buy anything that has peoples dirty hands all over it. I then explain again that she is the only one who has touched it. She reluctantly decides to buy it.

When I ring her up, she asks me for a discount. I tell her that I can't just give her a random discount (more politely than that). She takes out her customer rewards card and says that she should get a discount. I scan her card, which tells me that her NEXT purchase after this one will have a $20 discount. When I tell her this, she gets pissy, saying that maybe she won't buy anything until she can get her discount. By this point I am annoyed. Fuck it, I gave her a small discount to stop her complaining. I think it was like $5. After she made her purchase and I had wrapped everything up for her, she tells me to take everything out and put it in an unmarked bag. Then after I put everything in the bag, she tells me to take everything out of the packages because she doesn't want her husband to see the packages. Then after I hand her all her toys, she smells them and say they smell funny. I explain to her that there are no harmful chemicals in them, and that she is smelling the silicone, which after cleaning with soap and water will be less strong.

She leaves and I go back to my cleaning

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Customers of 12/11/10

Wow, I just realized that today's date is pretty awesome.

Saturday night shift. It's usually more exiting than my Sunday shift since there tends to be more people. Also, there tends to be more drunk folks coming in, which means interesting interactions.

-Short female with glasses comes up to the front desk, cock ring in hand. "Is this it for your cock ring selection?" She is snotty, and when I point out that we have more than a dozen options varying from metal, rubber, and vibrating, she looks at me like she didn't see all the other cock rings that were right in front of her. "Oh..."

-Young couple ask me to help them register for a class at a dungeon in San Francisco. When I explain to them that I have connection to the dungeon, and also that we are hours away, he starts getting frantic. He says that he's called and emailed them. Again I explain that there is nothing I can do since we have no connection to them. He buys a bunch of bondage books, but again returns to tell me that he really wants to attend their class.

-Middle age man buys a pink g-spot vibe.

-Right when I took a big bite out of my sandwich, a guy walks in to by lube. I had to scarf down my food real quick. It was pretty awkward.

-Lesbian couple asks me my opinion on the Rabbit vibrator. They seem miffed that I've never tried it. They then ask me what my personal preference is. When I explain that my opinion should effect their own, since everyone gets off differently, they kind of dismiss me and don't want help anymore. They stop and stare that the fetish section, then one spanks the other and laughs.

-Two older women and a guy come in together to browse.

-Woman came in to ask if my boss had her pants. What?

-Two women in designer outfits come in. One tries to by a vibrator, but her "members only" black credit card was declined. She gets insulted when I tell her that her card is declined. I'm not making this up lady! Her friend pays for her in cash.

-Young guy buys stimulation pills

-Couple comes in to ask about special ordering sex furniture. One day when I have a house I want lots of Liberator furniture.

-Woman runs in to by lube. I can hear her husband and children waiting outside.

-Middle aged couple comes in to buy him a prostate massager. He keeps his back to me as I explain the toys, slightly shy/embarrassed. They buy a vibrating prostate massager, lube, massage oil, and an instructional book on fellatio. She thanks me for being so open and informative.

-Cock ring lady comes back. She doesn't like our selection because a bunch are made in China. She leaves without buying anything.

-Three people from earlier come back in. One woman approaches the counter with a vibrating clit pump in hand. Her male friend comes in and demands that I explain to her how to use it. She blushes and keeps her head down as I quickly give instructions. As she purchases it she turns to her female friend saying "I can't believe I'm buying this!" I think they are all a little tipsy.

-Couple comes in to look at double sided dildos...they don't buy one.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Fleshlight

We have some controversial sex toys. And by that, I mean people tend to look at them and have long conversations with their shopping buddies all about the toy. Usually about what the heck that item is, and how the hell you use it. Confusion over what a sex toy is is pretty normal here. The use of sex toys is not always obvious, and many times needs explanation. The first time I saw a Crystal Wand, I blurted out "what the fuck?" which at the time made the presenter that was showing it off glare at me.

It's when people start making fun of someone who would purchase an item is when I get annoyed. Confusion is fine, everyone is confused by sex. Especially sex toys. It's a complicated area of sex, not everything will make sense to everyone. But just because there is a sex toy that you wouldn't personally bring into the bedroom, doesn't mean that you need to make fun of it, or anyone who would use it.

The biggest example I can think of is The Fleshlight.

The Fleshlight is a male masturbation sleeve. Basically, you stick your dick in it, and fuck it. Well, that's the most blunt way I can describe it. The Fleshlight comes in a variety of shapes and textures, but we only carry The Pink Lady line. As seen in the picture above, it looks like a vagina, and has bumps on the inside to create texture. So people pick this item up the most (actually there's a couple playing with it right now)and laugh and stick their fingers in it (clean up time for me after they leave). That's fine, not everyone is used to seeing a rubber vulva. But I get a little irked when people start commenting on what kind of person would use it. Usually they go "ew, what kind of looser wants this?" Which, is a sucky thing to say. Just because it isn't your thing, doesn't mean you need to degrade people who use it. Not to gender this, but is it usually females, of a younger generation, making these comments. If with a friend, it is common for them to joke about buying it for their single male friend. Sometimes they will turn to me laughing ask if people actually buy them. They are shocked when I explain that they are one of our most popular items, that guys love the masturbation sleeves in general.

And then usually a little after they leave a guy walks in and buys one coincidentally.

Like right now