Sunday, November 28, 2010

Holiday Fuck Madness!

I felt the title is appropriate for my current status.

Since Thanksgiving has ended, and the holiday shopping has begun, the store has become a den of fuck toy madness. Customers swarming in, demanding different toys, and ordering online an obscene amount of items. Which for me is always good thing, since I get a bonus every time I make a big sale. And also it makes me happy seeing people buy sex stuff for their partners.

In the past two days online sales have gone up. Today I filled an order that was full of BDSM gear: A sex swing, a bit gag, restraint system, and nipple clamps, all the way to Tennessee.

The top sellers of the season so far is the new Lelo line of lightweight, rechargeable, waterproof vibrators.

The genius thing about these toys is the hole in the middle for easy grip. Too many times I have been complained to by customers that they don't like to hold their toys. And they are super light, which is nice as well.

I have this theory about being attracted to your sex toys (forgive me if I have written about this before)but I strongly believe that if you are not sexually attracted to your toys, why are you having sex with it? Sex toys need to be sexy, and these definitely are.

Speaking of sexy, the We-vibe now comes in different colors! So far the teal has been the most popular.

Pretty, no?

The most interesting customer I've had this week was a guy on the phone named "Randy". Randy is a pimp, or as legal to a pimp as possible. He runs a "female entertainment" where the girls are hired at parties to wear next to nothing and masturbate each other. Randy is a sweetheart, and he buys his girls their outfits and toys. They are going to start teaching sex classes with "hands on" demonstrations, and I am helping him plan out the curriculum. Pretty interesting for an over the phone business transaction (Randy works on the other coast)

Some girls I went to college with just came in tipsy off bottomless mimosas. One of them came to the counter with anal beads, admitting shyly that she never had the nerve to buy them, but has the liquid courage to now. Kind of adorable.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Shopping with your gay boyfriend

The most note worthy customers of the day:

This tall woman walks in with this short, flamboyant, Asian man. Right away I knew this was a gay boyfriend shopping date, which are my favorite customers to interact with. It is common for women to come in with their gay best friends to shop for sexy things for their partners, and the comments they make are hilarious. Right away this guy made his friend comfortable, being a charming goof and pointing out things she would buy.

When she was questioning a pair of sexy stocking he said: "Honey, you have got to get that. Not even for sex, I would just strut that around." When they looked at butt plugs, he pointed out the Pretty Plug, saying "Honey, this will make your ass shine."

They ran around the store pointing out things to each other. The woman picked up a copy of "WHORE magazine" and shouted, "Darling, a magazine about us!" He made jokes about her buying him a dildo until he could find a real man. They left as quickly as they came, with smiles on their faces and happily prancing about.

As they walked out he turned to me with a smile and said, "Darling, I love what you've done with the place."

The eye of the storm

So the holidays are coming up. Which for us in the sex industry, is the busiest time of the year. Winter holidays, followed by Valentines Day, are pretty hectic. To prep for this time of the year, our store does a complete cleaning overhaul. From the light fixtures to the condom packets, everything gets dusted down and scrubbed. Today I polished clothes racks, sorted through lingerie, and organized sex toys.

After Thanksgiving is when the busy season starts. People come in looking for the newest and coolest products. Last year rechargeable toys were the fad. This year it is rechargeable waterproof toys, especially the Form line from Jimmy Jane.

These hand sized toys are really powerful and are multi speed and vibrations. And since they are waterproof and rechargeable, it's pretty apparent why they are so popular.

Anyways, I need to get back to cleaning.

Saturday, November 13, 2010


Dear customer,

That annoying high pitched ringing that you are complaining loudly about? That's the vibrator you have been looking at that you left on, rumbling on the glass shelf. It's right in front of you, moving and screaming for you to not let it fall. It is very expensive, and not something to turn on and leave. So stop being a dumb ass and press the off button, which is the same one you used to turn it on.


Saturday, November 6, 2010

First Art Shows at Sex Shops

Last night Celeste Duran joined a unique group of artists. Artists whose first art shows are displayed at sex shops.

I have mentioned before that my shop monthly displays local artists, the first Friday of which we host an "open gallery" of the artists work. The artist is there to talk to the public, and we serve snacks and drinks. It's quite fun.

Last night I made the joke that I should write a book about artists whose first art shows were at sex shops, since the topic came up so much last night. Duran explained to me that her work is usually weddings and private boudoir shoots, so she never had the chance to display her work. Her show was a success, many people showed and admired her stunning photographs of intimate couple portraits. She even sold a few pieces.

What makes an artist decide to have their first show at a sex shop? It isn't that they haven't had the chance to show other places, many of our artists are highly talented and could display at public galleries. Personally, I think a sex shop creates a delightfully awkward environment for an already awkward event (many artists are nervous at their first show, and therefore become shy). It also is a more private gallery, since it is such an intimate location. Duran also made a really good point. At a sex shop, she could display her art that may not be okay to show other places. Erotic and intimate art is not always welcome at public gallery's, so it's a great venue to show more racy art than is normally displayed from the artist.

We have had some great shows from first time artists:

Sasha Neese ( displayed her self portrait nudes.

Georgette Clay showed her queer art portraits, using chalk.

And last night Celeste Duran ( displayed her erotic couple photography

Honestly, I am looking forward to seeing what other artists we can take the "art show virginity" from.