Sunday, May 23, 2010

Sunday Shift

Recently I was promoted to Sunday shifts. Well I'm not sure if promoted is the right word. Sunday is the questionable day when it comes to the shop. It's either really really dull or full of people. Some days are predictable. Saturday for example, is a large sales day, and Saturday night is date night, so I am constantly on my feet. Sundays...not so much.

My day had been pretty eventful though, considering the fact that there is construction happening on our block and traffic can't go through.

It started off with a middle aged man asking about g-strings and skirts that would fit him. He didn't end up buying anything though, nothing fit exactly right.

Then a woman came in complaining to me about a vibrator that she bought from here that she said was too hard. As I pointed out that it was made out of hard plastic, she tried to argue that she didn't know it was that hard. Luckily she wasn't trying to return it, just trying to find something cheap that was softer.

A young girl comes in buying pasties and an expensive male masturbation sleeve.

Then I help a diabetic man pick out a prostate massager because he is starting to get sexual dysfunction. He is friendly and very open about anal stimulation.

Two young girls in matching t-shirts and glasses hold hands and walk around the store. They just left.

Asian woman is still wandering around the store after a good half hour. No, she does not want help.

From what I can conclude from this day so far is that Sunday is browsing day. People look around, but don't buy anything. Lucky for me, I am not paid by commission, so I don't have to be pushy.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Customers of May 5th, 2010

-Young female quickly walks in, grabs a purple feather ticker, purple crotchless panties, and a couples board game. When I am ringing her up she adds a black blindfold. Someone is going to have a good night. That, or she buys awesome presents.

-Two men at seperate times wander in to check out the store. Both stand in the center and look around and quickly leave. Their visits were about ten minutes apart.

-Frequent flyer customer heads straight to the book section. Purchases "The Adventurous Couples Guide to Strap-on Sex" and some kink erotica that I didn't know we sold. Lastly she buys a metal pinwheel. Again, someone is in for a good night.

-Tango dancer comes in to buy nude pasties

-Young woman signs up in person for our annual strip tease class. Asks me the difference between expensive lube and ky lube.

-Lesbian couple that I went to college with buys red rope. I give them a friends and family discount

-Tattooed surfer dude quickly runs in, buys a bottle of sexual stimulant pills smiling about how he got exited before at a time he wasn't supposed to. I didn't ask.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The good, the naughty, and the stoners.

On our block there are four stores.

The first is ours, the smut shop, the sex emporium. Though you can't tell from the outside what we sell, there is definitely an air about it that there is something naughty inside.

Around the corner is the family dentistry. Oh yes, family dentistry. To get there you must pass our store. Customers always ask whether they are bothered by our shop. The great thing is that the family dentistry is our landlords. They are very relaxed on who rents from them.

That being said, past the dentistry is a head shop. This bong and incense shop moved in about a month ago and is stacked with hippy memorabilia. It's like burning man compacted. Outside the store people with dreadlocks play drums and send their love to passersby.

Right next to the hippies are the hip hoppers. The hip hop clothing store called "So Fresh" sells over sized shirts with hip hop logos for the hip youth. Rumor has it that the two stores don't care for each other.

Together we all make the loving family that is our block.