Thursday, December 15, 2011
Let's check out some cool ones, shall we?
The We-Vibe itself has been around for a few years, but the company continuously updates their toys. The We-Vibe is designed as a "couples toy", though I like to describe it as a vaginal clip. The smaller end is inserted into the vagina, while the larger end rests on the outer vulva around the clit. The idea is that the smaller end is thing enough to allow a partner to penetrate the vagina while the vibration is going on. Also its rechargeable. Awesome, no?
The original We-Vibe was purple and had two speeds, high and low. Then they updated to the We-Vibe 2 which has a button when you can click through multiple setting and pulsation patterns. And came out with more colors like turquoise and red. Now, the We-Vibe 3 is here, which is not only 100% waterproof, and more powerful, but it also comes with a remote control! Well done We-Vibe.
The Club Vibe 2.0
OhMiBod is known for making toys that vibe to the sound of your iPod and other electronic devices. They are pretty high tech when it comes to sex toys. The Club Vibe 2.0 is, the the We-Vibe 3, an updated version of an existing model. The Club Vibe 1.0 is a little bullet that you slip into your panties that is attached to a battery pack. It has a multiple vibration setting, as well as a sound sensitive setting where it vibrates to the noise around it. The idea is that you can go to the club with this toy on and have a reallllllllly good time near the speakers. The 2.0 version is definitely an upgrade from the tiny bullet. The vibrator is now a remote control, where the receiver slips one part into the front of their undergarments (they do give you one in the box) and the controller has the ability to vibe them from across the room. The design is pretty sexy, with a sleek oval design that hugs the body. Also the controller can change just how sensitive to noise the toy is, which can lead to some pretty fun date nights. Did I mention that it charges using an USB cord?
Lyla, Tiant, and Oden
LELO is a high quality toy company that has won my heart over many a times. Their new line of "sense-motion" toys has by far been my favorite of their ideas.
These new toys are not only rechargeable and remote controlled, but they designed with "sense-motion" which means that the person with the controller can change the vibrations using the motion of their hands. So, depending on how fast you flick your hand back and forth your partners vibrations will be affected. I imagine a lot of people will be playing sexy tormenting games with this new technology. Currently the line has three toys. The Lyla is a basic egg vibe, which can be used externally or vaginally. The Oden is designed as a cockring, where the vibrator sits at the top of the package. The Tiani takes after the We-Vibe design, where it is meant to be used as a vibrator during insertion.
The Duet is very new. So new, I just got an info session about it today. But I am very exited to see this baby in action, and after holding it in my hand I am definitely saving up for this one.
The Duet is made by Crave, which believe is San Francisco based. Again, so new that I am unfamiliar with the company (sorry! But I love your stuff!) The Duet is an external vibe that is not only waterproof and rechargeable, but it is USB charged and some models actually have memory space on their USBs. What? I can store my porn in this thing? Yup! And let me tell you, this vibe is strong, and super classy looking and even comes with a fancy carrying case. I see a big future for this little guy.
What will they think of next?
Monday, November 21, 2011
So far my favorite was this guy:
Me: "Would you like to make a donation today?"
Guy: "No....I only donate to organizations about cats. Do they have a program for cats?"
Me: "I think this particular charity is for people."
Guy: "Don't get me wrong, it's a great program! My parents used one like it!"
Me: "Oh really? That's great, would you like to make a $1 donation then?"
Guy: "Too bad they don't have one for cats. Cause then I would donate. So no. No donation today."
Sunday, November 13, 2011
We can sense it
The vibes are flying off the shelves
and people are asking for them to be wrapped
What will the holidays bring for us this year?
The new toys are to arrive sometime this month
Bigger, faster, stronger
Some are remote controlled
Some are USB charged
You are a sassy mistress
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
1. He was intoxicated
2. He didn't have his ID on him
He stood outside calling me a "fuckin' bitch" and when I went outside to tell him I was calling the police, he called me "the green goblin".
I've gotten "bitch" before, but "green goblin"? Am I a super villain chasing after Spiderman?
Probably my favorite insult I've ever had thrown at me from a disgruntled teen who couldn't get into a sex shop.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Not surprisingly, I've gotten this response before. When you work in the sex industry, people always like to compare you with other occupations that they think are "lower". I don't know if this reasoning is for their benefit or meant as some sort of weird comfort to me, but it's one of my least favorite reactions.
First off, I don't think of stripping as "the worst thing ever". In fact, I have friends who are strippers, dancers, burlesque performers, gogo girls, topless performers, etc. And these folks are awesome. And like every career out there, some of them love it, some of them hate it but need the money, and some of them would do it even if they weren't getting any compensation besides the experience.
Second, why do people feel like I need to be comforted that things could always be worse? This phrasing puts down my career choice, and is extremely sex negative. Working at a sex shop is not a crime, nor is it something that I was forced into. I have worked this job for four years now, and I have no intention on leaving right away. When stating my place of work, in no way am I pleading a cry for help, nor do I need you to say something to make me feel better. All I am simply doing is stating my job.
I am a sex shop worker
Proud and true
Hear me roar!
Buzz buzz buzz
Friday, October 14, 2011
I take the bus every day to and from work, and sometimes I like to bring reading material with me. Since my work constantly updates its library, I like to keep myself in the loop and skim through a few books a week. My co workers were talking about how they use book jackets to cover their reading materials whenever they are in public. I don't. I don't really get self-conscious about the books I read, and I like when the person next to me starts reading along after realizing what the content is. I have yet to be called out for my raunchy reads, but I've gotten a few awkward glances.
Today I went to a museum with my father. I recently was given a messenger bag that has a sex toy companies logo across it and I wear it everywhere. For my fathers comfort I flipped the bag around so the logo faced me (he's not exactly gung-ho about my career choice). When going through museum security, we had to have our bags searched. I handed my bag over to the cute security guard, and waited as his eye brows raised at the erotic words on my bag. I held back a smile as he riffled through my stuff, which included a copy of Jay Wiseman's "SM 101" and he blushed. Happily I accepted my bag back and gave him a cheerful thank you as he stared at me while I walked away.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Whilst walking out a doorway, a young blonde woman started staring at me. I smiled and said hello, and she squinted her eyes as if to examine me, and asked if I was from a certain town (I am). When she asked where she knew me from, I jokingly said that I probably have sold her a sex toy, since I worked in a shop for three years down there. Mind you, I wasn't sincere about this connection, but the linkliness that she had seen me there was pretty high. Right away her face starts to go pink, and then red, and she starts stammering. She mumbles that I was probably right, and pretty much looked like she was ready to run. I told her it was okay to run into me, it happens pretty often and that she shouldn't be embarassed. If anything, it's a funny story to tell. A random guy who apparently had heard this whole conversation stepped in and gave her a sticker to make her feel better. She thanked him, and then quickly excused herself, avoiding eye contact with me.
Let's be honest, I have worked with a lot of folk. I do not remember a large majority of them by face, and some I may not even remember by story. Unless it is something that really stood out (like you were on fire at the time) your customer interaction with me is most likely going to be forgotten. Yes, some of my favorites I do note here, but I really could not connect faces with most of them. But whenever I run into a former customer, about half the time they are super embarassed. Which to me is funny, since I then assume that they bought something super raunchy (like a huuuuuuuge butt plug) that they didn't want anyone to find out about. In reality, they probably bought a book or a vibrator.
I am in an event tent and the lady at the door looks familiar. As I walk by her, she asks me if I am from a certain city (I am). I then make the connection that I just met this woman the week before, when I sold her and her girlfriend their first harness. I tell her that she knows me from making an intimate purchase the week before, and once that clicks, she starts smiling and laughing and gives me a big hug. She thanks me for helping her out, and even tells me a little snippet about her adventures with her purchases. As I leave, she thanks me for saying hello and wishes me well.
Some customers are really exited to run into me. I like to think that its because they are reminded of a good experience, or something that added positively to their lives. After all, some sex toys are pretty earth shattering. I once had my meal paid for by a couple that recognized me for helping them buy their first sex toy. They laughed and waved at me, and went off in a good mood.
Shopping for sex toys is embarassing for some people, and for others its a new form of expression.
Just remember to be nice to your local sex shop worker, and if you can, buy them a drink. ; )
Friday, August 19, 2011
So recently I have been looking for housing and filling out lots of housing applications. I haven't moved for a few years, so I forgot that you need to write your means of employment to prove that you can pay rent. While getting proof of payment from my work, someone asked me if I use the actual name of my employers, or use a general coorporation title. For example, instead of "sex shop sales person" should I put "retail associate".
Sometimes I forget that people still have a problem with sex shops, and that this line of work to some is not considered valid or "a real job". Personally I've had to exaplin more than once to my parents that this is legit work, and for me working in this industry isn't a joke or a quick way to make money. I actually believe that by working at a sex shop I am helping out humanity in one way or another.
I talked to some fellow sex shop workers and they told me that sometimes housing companies won't work with anyone in the sex industry, which is why sometimes you need to be very vague on the forms. But my line of work is just as legal and legit as theirs. Why do I need to feel ashamed and hide my profession?
After four years, you'd think I would stop being so surprised by peoples actions.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
I've done some kink instructionals with some people that I wasn't attracted to, but not full private scenes. Oh, and some light public play
Kink play isn't about sexual attraction. But there should be some sort of attraction, at least to the scene. There should be communication between the players though about the scene.
Today I went to the Nemo, which is Amsterdam's biggest science museum. http://www.e-nemo.nl/
It's pretty epic, about five floors of different exhibits that cover facts about space, chemistry, physics, electricity, genetics, aaaaannnnnd.....SEX!
Oh yes, they teach sex in an all ages science museum. In fact, there is an entire floor called the "Teen Center" which teaches about sexuality, sex, and gender. Not just teens attend the exhibit, but families with their children as well. Through videos, hands on education centers, and computer quizzes about personality and sexual identity.
Sign that advertises the exhibit
There is also an area called "Let's Talk About Sex", where people ages 10 and up can come in and learn more about sex in-depth.
It also resembles the red light district, with booths on the inside that you can insert coins into and learn facts and test your sex knowledge.
In one of the booths there is a sex knowledge quiz that I took, to se that exactly they would cover. Wow, was I amazed. Not only did they ask questions about the frequency of female masturbation, but they also asked about if there is a connection between porn-watchers and child molesters (answer is no) and other pretty interesting sex questions about hymans and virginity.
I scored 100%. Yeaaaaahhhhh.
On the wall is a bunch of facts about sex myths
In another booth they give you information about erogenous zones
They also have a display of different sex positions using wooden figures
Overall I was pretty impressed with the amount of information that is covered in this exhibit, and how open and free everything is.
Oh, and here is a picture from a test that used my pulse to rate my reaction to different images. They showed bugs, and babies, and kittens, and people eating spiders, and violence. Here is the picture that got my pulse rating the most:
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
My latest course in Amsterdam is on Young Sexualities. Part of our research involves reading studies surround the concept of love and violence in South Africa. In some parts ofSouth Africa, violence against women, especially in youth, is tolerated and promoted as an act of masculinity. Currently I am reading an article about how injuries are beyond love, that they show an aspect of ownership and are also a way for the male to vent off his frustrations. Many women reported that they encouraged getting a "take-five" (face slap) because it showed love, that they cared. A lack of care is indicated if she was severely hurt and he wouldn't take her to the clinic, or wouldn't apologize afterwards.
I sit here reading this while talking to my partner about all the terrible things he has planned for me when I return from my trip. He plans to hit me, hurt me, punish me for talking back at him. And I blush and smile, glad that he is able to show how much he cares for me.
(On a more coincidental note, I am also listening to "Sister" by She Wants Revenge. "You can hurt me, do whatever you like" is part of the chorus. It's one of my favorite songs.)
It's very important to understand the difference between kinky relationship violence, and actual abuse. Some will assume that I am perverse for doing these readings whilst negotiating a violent scene for when I am back home.
There is a clear distinction for me between being slapped across the face for purposefully incorrectly following protocol (aka being bratty), and "taking-five" for having a cheeky demeanor. Though one can debate that these women who live under the delusion that being hit equals being cared for live under the same perverse delusion tent that I live under, believing that when my partner throws me to the ground and gives me a black eye, it is because we have an intimate connection. For me the real difference is that when I red out, it is listened to. I choose to be in this lovely fucked up relationship and can choose to stop it if I want to. These women can't. They are trapped by social pressure and living conditions, with no opportunity to red out of life.
Violence for me is sexy. To be more specific, pre-consented-"non-consensual"-violence-that-I-have-the-right-to-stop-even-though-personally-I-probably-won't-unless-somethings-going-really-wrong for me is sexy. There is a difference between actual violence, and my own kink definition, whether or not it may be clear.
Non-consensual violence, whether in the South African community or the kink community, should never be tolerated.
I believe in instead of focusing on the age of consent we should look at the age in which we teach sexuality education and if so, how comprehensive the material is. Creating a society where the age of consent is 18 and there is barely any comprehensive sex ed programs for youth does not produce a safe space. We should focus on knowledge and harm reduction for youth verses creating laws intended for protection.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Orgasm is different for everyone. There's so much pressure on sexually active people to have an orgasm, that many don't because of it. Its even possible that someone has had an orgasm and not realized it due to expecting something different. I suggest reading The Multi-Orgasmic series by Rachel Abrams and co. It will give you information about orgasms and different techniques to achieving one. Don't be discouraged! Everyones body is different, as well as what arouses them.
When coming to Amsterdam, one of the main tourist attractions and appealing factors is it's red light district, a location where sex is the prominant theme and patrons can visit a number of places to buy it, view it, even purchase souvaneers having something to do with it. There are actually three red light districts in Amsterdam, with one main strip, and two smaller ones, which are frequented by locals. The main red light district is mostly frequented by tourists, all hoping to get a glimpse at the legal sex workers in windows, something that is unique to this city. At night the street is full of intoxicated men of all ages, musting up the courage to step into the doors of one of the ladies while their friends chant and hoot.
Let me try to paint a picture of what the red light district looks like. There is a canal, with two busy streets and many adjoining bridges with people crossing back and forth from each side to get a better look of what the area has to offer. There are a few cafes and bars, mostly filled with tourists sitting and staring at their surroundings. Signs advertising sex shows pop up every few buildings, with well dressed men standing outside coaxing people in.
A "sex show" can mean a number of things, mostly depending on the price paid by the customer and what are the offered features, which can consist of some sort of public sex show with solo women, women together, and some man/woman lovin. There are also private sex shows, which is like a peep show, but with different features, and possibly some touching rules.
In the district are also sex shops, similar to my former job, that vary from the gimmicky, to the high end quality toys. I have frequented most of them, and have found that the brands that are most commonly carried are Fun Factory, Lelo, and We-Vibe. Some of the stores have really fun display windows, with fucking machines jabbing at the air, and maniquins dressed in sexy costumes.
Here's a picture of a display window where the Statue of Liberty is holding a Lelo vibrator. Sorry for the unfocused image, my camera was being good that day.
Inside the stores are just aisles and aisles of sex toys, costumes, dvds, and other devices. Sometimes there are floggers hanging from the ceiling, in others there are display models of the toys for you to test out. And in quite a few there are masturbation and viewing booths in the back, near the porn dvds. I've had an interesting time exploring the porn sections, finding various boot legged videos of people that I know in the adult industry. Kink.com, for example, is extremely boot-legged here, with cheap looking dvds that are being sold for 20 euros a pop.
This is a boot-legged copy of a Hogtied.com shoot featuring Minx Grrl http://www.minxgrrl.com/
Probably the most popular feature of the red light district, besides the sex shows, are the windows. All around the district are windows (actually doors with large glass windows with red curtains) and legal prostitutes standing behind them. A typical window will consist of a woman posing in a particularly seductive/skin showing outfit, waving or winking at people walking past them. Some of the workers have chairs that they sit on, others stand for hours. Some of them talk or text on their phones while in the windows, and once I saw a woman sitting and eating a bag of potato chips (I gave her a thumbs up and she smiled and laughed). An important thing about the windows to understand is that these are legit places of work. Therefore, they are to be treated with respect. There are many signs warning that you are not allowed to take pictures of the windows, and security cameras watching the areas to make sure no one is messing with the ladies. There are also police on patrol, and in every sex workers window is an emergency button that will call them over if needed. If the prostitutes are working with "pimps", they usually stand on the corners watching the windows to make sure that no one is messing with their employees. NOTE: Any pictures I post of the actual windows I took from the internet. I did not take any pictures of the workers without their permission.
The red light windows are split into demographics. This is due to the price to rent out the window space. Each window is rented for a certain amount of hours, and the ones on the main street are much more expensive. So sex workers that are more popular and attract attention are able to afford the main windows. These workers are usually young and typically thin, though I've seen some big ladies rent a section of windows together and create a BBW (Big Beautiful Women) area.
There are lots of alleyways and streets off the main strip where more specific workers reside. Behind the old church you can find a large section of ethnic sex workers, and in another alley are older women. There is also a section called the "blue light district" where the prostitutes are males presenting as females (transexuals, transvestites, drag queens, etc). This is a very popular section, and can be found just off the main strip. There is also one window advertising fetish sexual practices.
From my few experiences walking past the different windows, depending on the day you get varied interactions with the workers. Some wave and wink, as I said, but others will glare at you if you appear to be staring too long, or look but don't intend to buy. A few ladies will hide themselves behind the red curtains if you appear to be a tourist, especially in the blue light district. Some of the workers, if they see a potential customer, will come out of their windows and shout various things. Others will come out to shout at people taking pictures. This happened to me, since I took my camera out to take a picture of the building. I tried to explain, but the woman was furious with me for even having it out. Many people do take pictures anyways, even go so far as to hide them sneakily under their jackets.
Here is the picture I took, of a very thin alleyway in the district, where you can see the doorways, but not the workers.
Sex work and sex in general is seen as something normative in society. There is a red light district information center where former window workers answer questions and give tours. There is also a statue in the church square commemorating sex workers, called "Belle".
Okay, that's it for today!
Ps Incase you were wondering, there are male prostitutes, but they work through escort services, not windows.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
While visiting an Amsterdam leather sex shop (you know, for research), I came across this very lovely sign.
While I was staring at the poster, the shop manager asked me nonchalantly, "Would you like to get tested?" I said sure. There's not many times that one is offered free full STI screening, especially in the middle of a sex shop in Amsterdam. It would be silly of me as a sex educator and enthusiast to say no. That and I was super curious what would happen.
First a highly pierced man came down the stairs leading above the shop to ask if I wanted some soda. Sure, why not? Then he led me up two flights of steep stairs, which is where I started to get a little nervous. Testing at a sex shop? How legit is this going to be? At the University I attended as an undergraduate we offered HIV test mouth swabs, which is what I assumed would be happening at this free testing. I was lead to the upper floor, which was a very spacious flat with a large desk and two very friendly nurses. The male nurse introduced himself and then his female associate, welcoming me to their testing facility. They work through the Amsterdam STD Clinic https://www.mijntestuitslag.nl/where they do STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) counseling and testing. Their particular work is setting up testing areas through out the city where they can give free screenings to those who want it. Specifically, the gay male community here, which is rather large. Amsterdam is a very sexually liberal city, where the male gay community throws naked parties and other wildly themed raves, but they are not always safer sex friendly. Bath houses are also commonly used for male interactions, and in turn, the STI/STD rates in the area are extremely high.
The GGD Amsterdam (the clinic) is testing out this new idea, where the nurses set up shop in places were sexually active people go, offering full screenings to anyone. The shop where I was at was one of their locations, where they do testing on Fridays. They also go to bath houses/saunas and are currently trying to get access to clubs. All testing is free, anonymous, and they give you the results in a week. They test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, HIV, HPV, syphilis, and herpes. This is the most all inclusive free testing I have ever encountered. While the nurses were setting up the test, I was informed that they were going to take blood (sterile environment, I checked all the equipment) and needed a self administered vaginal and anal swab (for men they do self taken anal swabs and a urine test). I like that they have you do your own swabs, so there is no physical contact between you and the nurses. Though the nurses are professionals, this self swabbing is important for comfort, especially since this testing site is located in an unusual spot and I personally would be reluctant to let a stranger above a sex shop poke around my bits.
After answering some questions about my medical history, they started with a check list of my sexual history. They asked if I had experience with M2M (men who have sex with men) and if I used protection and how many partners I had within the last six months. Through the questions I deduced that they usually get male clients, which they chuckled and confirmed. I was their first female client since they started testing. After finishing my questions, they put on a tourniquet and tried to find a vain. Apparently I have hard vains to find, because both of them had to look over my arm for one. The woman informed me she was going to hit my arm to get a vain to pop up, and informs me with a smile that she promises she won't hit me like they do downstairs. I like health workers with a sense of humor. I smiled and told her I consented, and after a few pats, my veins decided to cooperate. After they finished draining me they handed me two long swabs and viles marked "A" and "V" (guess which holes they were marked for).
I am so in love with this idea of heath practitioners going out into the community and offering helpful services. I was so happy to find competent and all informative sex educators who were really passionate about helping others, even if it involved sitting around above a sex shop for hours waiting for someone to show up. They were shocked to learn that this type of screening was not common nor free in America, and that STD education was not offered to everyone. They asked me why I would want to work in sex education in a country that does not support me. I told them that that is exactly why I do my kind of work, because I want to fight for the health services that I believe people should already have, like they do in the Netherlands.
So much more to learn, only three weeks left here.
Here is some art I found in a local coffee shop
Monday, July 4, 2011
Heres a short overview of some my classmates (it's actually quite interesting)
-Two women from China, Lucy and Lili both have cognative psychological study backgrounds, and came to the program because China's schools lack the social and cultural study aspect of sex and gender. It is more medical and clinical than about the human experience. Both speak very little English, and this is Lucy's first time out of China.
-Casey is from Texas. He is here for a full year, focusing his studies on masculinity and pansexuality
-Mai is from Indonesia. I have a very hard time understanding her accent, but from what I understand, she works with AIDS/HIV education and prevention in her home country.
-Farooq is from Pakistan. He is the oldest of the group, born in the 60s. He works as a doctor and is here to be able to learn more about sex and gender without his countries restrictions.
-Farah and Mohammad are from Egypt. They both want to encourage sex education in their country, which pretty much does not exist.
-Ana is from Guadaloupe, but has been living here for two years. She works with a Queer rights group that does demonstrations around the city.
-Yagar is from Croatia. Like many of the other students, he is here to learn more about sex and gender in order to pass it along to his home country, which lacks this information.
-Michelle is from Kansas, and has her own sex advice talk show and well as a sex blog www.michellemacbain.com. She wants to focus on family sex talk, ie, how to talk to your kids about sex and is hoping to learn from the local sex workers here about language and techniques about talking about sex.
I love that my fellow classmates come from such different backgrounds and intend to do such different things with the information that they gain from this program. Myself? I am hoping to learn more about the seedy underground of the city and about the non-normative sex clubs and workers. I have already found the only sex worker in Amsterdam who explicitly only does electrical stimulation, nothing more.
Amsterdam has been really good for me. It's refreshing to be in a city where my interests are not considered extreme. I also really like that in comparison to my fellow students, I am something of a sexpert when it comes unconventional sexual practices and non-normative lifestyles. I even explained to my professor today what electrical stimulation was, and showed her clips from www.wiredpussy.com for a visual example. I am also more familiar with sex work, since I myself identify as a sex worker. Many of the students look down on the local prostitutes mainly due to the fact that they don't understand the logistics of sex work, and how sex doesn't have to be something romantic and intimate. Some of them believe sex workers can't enjoy sex because they do it for a living.
The best explanation about prostitution I give is comparing them to morticians. Morticians are around death all the time, but if there is a death in their family, they get sad. There is a distance between work, and their own personal lives. Morticians see dead people at work as their job and feel no emotion towards them. Yet if their grandparent dies, then they will grieve and get sad, show emotion. The body is no longer work, it is personal. As morbid as that comparison may be, it actually worked for a lot of my co-students. Some still think of prostitution as gross, but that's their opinion.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Being from San Francisco and a frequent visitor of adult stores, there is little that can shock me when it comes to public sexuality. The block is separated by a canal, where swans quietly float by. There are sex shops, live girl shows, and various places to buy "a date". There are windows lining the street where women and sometimes trannies pose and wave at potential customers. Some people walk by awkwardly or stared, I waved friendly at them. Remember, in Amsterdam this is a legit profession, and these women have no problem waving back and are not shy about what they so for a living.
My favorite was a woman in a window standing half naked eating a bag of potato chips casually. I waved and she proudly toasted a chip towards me.
I was only there briefly, checked out a few sex shops. More info later.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
This is the most common response I get when I tell people my intention to study sexuality and non normative sexual behaviors/lifestlyes. On the flight from San Francisco to Minnasota (which is where I swtiched planes to go to Amsterdam) the guy sitting next to me asked me why I was going to Amsterdam. I told him that I was going to study the sexual culture of the community and study under well known sex professors surrounding topics like gender, sex in art, teen sex culture, and prostitution. He paused and looked at me (Well, he turned his head. Airplanes don't give much room to look at the person next to you) and with a furrowed brow, asked "Why?"
"Why not?" would be the best response I can think of. People ask me this all the time, usually trying to figure out what happened in my life to lead me to study such a taboo topic. As if studying sex meant that I had been sexually abused, or am questioning my own sexuality. Sorry to dissapoint, but I grew up knowing that I was attracted to both sexes and never had any sexual trauma growing up. My parents ask me "Why?" every few months, why do I keep persisting this area of study. I think that they would rather have me go into psychology or school teaching, two areas that I studied in college.
In Amsterdam, no one questions me. True, it is probably because I live in a dorm full of other sex enthusiasts, but it is incredibly refreshing to talk bluntly to a receptionist or information desk about where to find the best spots to observe the sexual culture. My welcome packet to the program included a condom. I think I almost cried with happiness.
The beauty if this place is that no one cares when it comes to sex and gender. What they care about is behavior. For example, the public toilettes have one entrance for both male and females sexes, with the male section on one side, the female on the other. There is no weirdness that the bathrooms are basically used by everyone. There are signs warning that decent behavior is expected, and any misbehavior will cause action. So if someone makes a non-consentual act towards another, they will be handed over to the police and most likey fined. It's a pretty wonderful concept, especially for those who do not identify with male or female gender labels. They don't get hassled, questioned, and if that ever happens, the lavatory worker would step in. There are also public urinals for men, which are plastic columns for urination. It is very common to walk down the street and see these being used. The point of them is not to expose ones genitalia to the public (there are actually little walls to ensure some privacy) but to stop intoxicated men from urinating in the street. There is no shame in using them, and they keep the busy bar areas quite clean.
I have yet to visit the famous Red Light district, but I am very very happy about the behavior instructional in guide books. Again, behavior is the key word in this community. Good behavior is a sign of respect. The guide books remind visitors that the Red Light district is a family neighborhood, with children and community privacy. Visitors are told to respect the neighborhood. Though it may sound strange for tourists to hear the families live in this prostitute thriving area, this is real. Prostitution is legal, and is considered a legit job, just like florists or waiters or plumbers. They are in the service oriented professional community, and they deserve respect. Personally, I can only hope that one day I can live in a society like this. There is 24hr surveillance to ensure the safety of the workers and proper behavior is required. Because sex is so blatant in this community, outsiders and tourists assume that this means that everything is allowed. Therefore they get extremely intoxicated in public, scream, urinate in the streets, use hard drugs, and drink outside. There is a reason locals are not too friendly to tourists, and this is why. A relaxed sexual environment does not meant that you get to act like an ass.
I love love love love that prostitutes are treated with respect in this community. Tourists are not allowed to treat them as weird spectacles but taking pictures of them, shout at them, and use bad language towards them. These are all arrestable offences. You also cannot solicit them on the street, as that is not where they work. If you were a dentist you would really hate it if someone can up to you on the street and asked you to give them a cleaning. They'd have to go to your office for something that that. Same thing with prostitutes.
It's been a little more than 24hrs being here and I am overjoyed by this communities sense of mutual respect and "normalness" of sex.
So "Why?" Because I believe society should normalize sex, and make it a non-taboo subject
Friday, July 1, 2011
The city is beautiful, I need to remember to take pictures.
And the people are beautiful as well. The majority of the people in the Netherlands are tall, over 6ft, all genders. Being a 6ft woman myself, I almost cried with happiness when I realized that I was considered average height.
When I registered in at my summer program, they handed me a welcome packet, which included a condom. Pretty sure that's a sign from the sex god/ess that I am going to LOVE it here.
My roommate is from China and doesn't speak English, but is sweet as hell.
Oh, and my pants ripped while I was grocery shopping. Lovely.
Gonna go do some reading about sex shtuff.
ps. Escalators here go wayyy faster than those in America. You have to basically jump on them to catch a ride.
Friday, June 24, 2011
I'm getting really nostalgic about leaving. All day I've been sweaty and nervous, being clumsy and silly. I packaged a bunch of condoms, put them out on display and then realized that I forgot to price them. Then, when customers were leaving and saying "Thank you" I responded with "Hello!" Er......yeah. I am a wreck today, but trying not to let it show.
Already had one person call in to wish me luck on my journey. When I came into work my boss told me that people have been calling all morning for me. Sweethearts.
After helping some customers, I decided to test out a packet of "libido boosters" for female sexual enhancement. Pretty sure I'm about to feel all floaty and warm.
Customers today have been pretty tame. Helped a woman find warming lube. Sold a rechargeable vibrator to a super tall guy. Helped out a female couple find the right harness for them.
Young guy with green bangs buys a cock ring and jokes how he looks like he's 12.
Female couple came back after comparing prices with a competing sex shop. They buy a harness, dildo, and vibrating cock ring.
Local photographer friend came in to say goodbye. I helped him with his first erotic photography show at the shop.
Again the shift goes slow. Sad that my last shift is this dead.
Two women come in and discuss porn. They leave as quickly as they arrive.
I'm so nervous about leaving my hands are shaking as I try to organize things.
While looking up future jobs for sex workers, I came across this photo.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
"Holidays" at the sex shop are always a unique experience, since the flow and type of customer changes depending on the event. Christmas, for example, brings in a lot more young customers who are looking for something fun and new for their significant other. Valentines Day brings in a lot more married couples and self-proclaimed feminists buying themselves something buzz-worthy. Mother's Day brings in partners looking to celebrate their sweeties, and they usually leave with back massager or massage oil.
Father's Day is pretty quiet.
Last night I had a couple buying a vibrator for her to celebrate the day (he paid)and two people came in to buy Fleshlights for the men in their lives.
-So far today I have had a few people come in and poke round the store, but nothing of note.
-It's been about three hours since we've opened and no purchases have been made.
-Today is my last Sunday shift. The lack of people seems appropriate with my on going love/hate relationships with this shift.
-Grizzly man walks in bopping his head to the music. He asks if we carry anything about hypnosis and fetish.
-Three young females walk in eating ice cream. They stick together and giggle in the porn dvd section. They leave quickly.
-Middle Aged man with glasses walks around with his arms folded. Won't look at me.
And I got permission to close early since no one has come in
SCREW YOU SUNDAY SHIFT! I'M GONE!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
This is my last full weekend shift at work. I am getting nervous that I will never be able to top the incredible experience that I had working here. Last night some customers commented on what a wonderful salesperson I was, saying that I really made them feel comfortable in an awkward situation. The husband went on to say that my interaction with them was professional and person, and that I knew how to adjust myself to their comfort zone. I started blushing and could barely make eye contact while he called my boss out to make sure she knew what a great employee I was.
Sometimes I feel like I am abandoning my post at the shop. I have to remind myself that I have bigger things to do in the sex world. I am a sex revolutionist, not just a shop girl anymore.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
-People shouting "Wooooo Pride!" through the door
-One young guy came in with his friends and asked me if he could have a job. His lady friend tries on a latex skirt. She stands there, feeling herself, talking about how cool the material feels. He says "nice ass".
-Two women look at our fetish section, comparing floggers and paddles. They buy a black and red flogger.
-Young girl in skull t-shirt buys rainbow striped socks. She is nervous to talk to me.
-Couple buy a vibrator using a gift certificate.
-Queer youth buys safety scissors and penis shaped lollipops and tells me about their Burning Man rope adventures.
-Woman in leather vest buy rainbow star pasties.
-I have to enter over 200 emails for our raffle contest. People guessed how many condoms were in a jar to win a vibrator. There were 114. A college student guessed the correct number, she came in with all of her friends screaming to claim her prize. Over 200 emails from drunks and bad handwriting.
-Someone gave me their number
Saturday, June 4, 2011
For instance, I can clean a male masturbation sleeve in under five minutes. Give me a gross, lord-knows-what covered sleeve, and I slip on my latex gloves, and can turn around a clean, ready to use toy, no problem.
I can also clean various material dildos, including silicone, TPR, plastic, metal, and glass.
I can stock vibrators in a decorative manner to make them look appealing and eye-catching without taking away from their neighbors.
I can up-sale most toys, adding on lube, condoms, other toys, anything I can add-on to the sale
I can organize a jar of crops to look like a bouquet of pretty implements
I can clean off erotic novels so it doesn't appear that creepy people have been sitting in the corner reading them all day
I have a mental list of local strip clubs memorized to refer horn-dog customers to
I can research porn without masturbating or being distracted, and I can do it while customers are in the room and not let on what I am watching
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Driving up the beautiful Santa Cruz coast towards Monterey, about a twenty-minute drive from the beach is the California central coasts best kept naughty secret, “A Hint of Leather” Bondage, Bed, and Breakfast inn. Hosted by some of the friendliest kinksters you will ever meet, this non-traditional B&B is a great for a get away, vacation spot, or even just a nightly romp. If your kinky and looking for a place to experiment, or curious and desire to explore, I highly recommend checking this location out.
The Bed and Breakfast is part of an authentic lifestyle couple’s private home, located in a separate back building that has been turned into an intimate dungeon, with personal art decorating the outside welcoming guests into its safe space. When you open the building door, it resembles an lovely authentic bed and breakfast verses an intimidating BDSM dungeon, which eases the guest into the space. A lovely bathroom down the hallway, and a welcome sign to your right lets you know that this space is for you to do with as you wish, to use as intensely, or lovingly as you may. To your right is a heavy wooden door, which opens into the dungeon, where guests are invited to stay and play around in. The dungeon/bedroom is well lit, with warm orange lights and fake fire lanterns that remind you that though this space is kinky, it’s only as intense as you make it.
Let me tell you, this dungeon is well stocked. If you’ve ever wanted to explore with anything kinky, fetish, or sexually deviant, this space has the implements to help. The first thing that stands out in the room is the wall of toys. Floggers, crops, paddles, restraints, masks, mouth gags, and devices of all sorts hang ever so nicely off the far wall. All are available for use, and the hosts happily show how to use them if so desired. There is also a giant queen sized bed, with beautiful fetish photography hanging on the walls around it. I cannot emphasize enough how homey this dungeon is, and how amazing it is to find a space with so much equipment and can still maintain intimacy. There is lots of dungeon furniture available, including a bondage post, bondage table, spanking benches, hanging chain cage, movable suspension point, a working jail cell, and bondage cross. Snooping around the room you will find lots of fun little toys neatly organized, and fun books and movies to look at. I could spend hours just poking through all the equipment and toys, admiring the opportunity to see such a vast variety of implements, all at my disposal!
For guests taking advantage of the Bed and Breakfast amenities, they will receive a full breakfast, as well as snacks, bottled water, use of a refrigerator, an outdoor patio, private bathroom, and wireless Internet.
Recommended for couples and small groups, new and experienced in the world of BDSM, this dungeon is a rare mix of kink and comfort.
Check them out at http://www.ahintofleather.com/
Friday, May 27, 2011
I am quitting my job. *breathes*
As much as I have enjoyed the last three years of sex shop employment, I want to do bigger and better things. I want to develop my sex education and educating, and to do that I must move from this small town and adventure on. Now don't be sad, I will continue blogging about sex, life, and general fuckery, and let's face it, my next job will probably involve something just as entertaining as selling sex toys to the general adult public.
I am leaving in a month, June 25th to be exact. This last month I will be helping out to train my replacement, as well as make sure that the shop will not fall apart without me. I've really loved working here, but I feel like it's time to move on.
So where is Avi going?
I am going to the motherland of smut, Amsterdam, to study at The University of Amsterdam's Summer Institute of Sexuality and Culture for the summer. Don't worry, there is Internet and I will be updating about my adventures along the way. After that, I will probably be moving to my hometown of San Francisco, to find more sex work and adventure.
So come and follow me,
And thanks for the adventure so far!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
As I clock in I help a couple buying a vibrator. The woman is a bit short with me, probably from being uncomfortable with talking to a stranger about her sex life. She wants a vibrator that she can use for inner and outer stimulation, but not at the same time. She also wants a vibrator that will go in deeper, as apparently the last one she bought did not go in as deep as she'd like. After interrupting me a few times I let her and her partner debate between the two of them on what to get. Sometimes it's best to say "How about you think it over and I'll be over here if you have any more questions?" They ended up buying two vibrators that I recommended, the C-Spot by Good Vibrations and The Slenders vibe from Evolved (who recently declared their one-year warranty on toys! Hooray!)
A very tall blonde buys Trojan Magnum XL condoms and some Coochy Cream (shaving cream for intimate areas.
A small woman who did not speak very much English asked me about prices for a finger vibrator. She handed me too much money and was confused when I gave her the extra five back.
My boss's friend makes me a mimosa, it makes me all warm inside
A lady in scrubs comes in concerning her vibrator which appeared to not be working. I tested it with our batteries and it worked fine. Apparently she has been putting the batteries in wrong. It happens sometimes, not all vibrators come with instructions on how to put the batteries in. I feel very professional when examining the toy while wear gloves.
Four college sorority girls come in giggling. After poking around a little bit and asking me questions, one of them asks if she can try on corsets. Since no one else is in the store but them, I help lace them into corsets. Apparently it was the first time any of them had tried them on. It was very cute. They didn't buy any, but I still like helping people try new things. One of them bought a pink power bullet (reference to earlier blog, remember my theory about colors and power bullets?) They thank me as they leave.
A bald man buys a large bottle of Liquid Silk lubricant and a cock ring. He has me gift wrap them.
A red headed girl carrying poster board bring in her resume. I remember her from past events at the shop and have the boss come out to meet her. We will start interviewing people next week.
Some regular customers come in and buy a 7-function vibrator. They ask to have it tested in the store to make sure it works.
Wish I could have more mimosa
Monday, May 2, 2011
That being said, I first began to be interested in attending an Upper Floor party while watching their free cameras, which by the way is a genius idea. You can go onto Kink.com, click on live shows, and then watch the free cams and even interact and talk to people who are there. So I would spend my down time at work being a voyeur, sometimes asking questions. Being a semi-active member in the Bay Area kink community, I quickly began to recognize and actually meet Upper Floor guests/members at other events. As a sex worker and opportunist I thought, what the hell! Let’s see if I can get my ass onto Kink.com! My goal in general was to be a background person in a shoot. I wanted to be one of those awkwardly standing people watching the dirty stuff go on in front of them. Well, on Sunday I got my filthy wish.
Being a born and raised San Franciscan, it was to my chagrin that I had never noticed this towering building before. About ten minutes away from my childhood house, I started laughing that I had never seen it and how frickin’ giant it is. My date and I quickly found a parking spot right across the castle, covered our slutty outfits with the always-handy college emblemed sweatshirt, and headed towards the doorway. I was relieved to see that we arrived with a group of people, and got to chat with a few before heading in. At the front door a security guard stopped us and asked us to wait, as they were getting set up to let people in. A group of six of us formed, making small talk and complementing each other’s outfits. I was relieved to find that my date and I were not the only newbies to The Upper Floor. A few others were in fact, which instantly made me breathe a little more (corset requiring of course). We were lead into the lobby, where the security member checked our legal names off the guest list, and we gaped in awe at the large lobby. I peeked into offices and the hallways, exited to see glimpses of the off camera locations.
Up the stairs we were lead, to the top floor (duh) and my head began to get all fluffy. This was actually happening. I got a little star struck and a little feeling like a perv that I could recognize most of the people there from watching them on camera. A lovely familiar face, Jack Hammer, welcomed me and lead me to the table in the foyer where The Pope (the director of The Upper Floor) checked IDs and had us fill out forms. And from there I got a little lost, as I didn’t really get directed where to go or what the hell I was supposed to do. As I began to wander down a restricted hall (sorry!) Jack Hammer laughed and led me to the parlor where people were changing and primping themselves. My date and I tightened our corsets, put on our heels, and giggled about this exiting adventure that we were going on. Ready and willing, I put a leash on my date and lead her out towards the lounge. We must have looked so silly poking our heads in before walking in, and gawking at the beautiful decorations and the hot ass guests. I had to remind myself that we were on live feed, and that everything I did was being watched. This made my poise myself a little more, and start to act the part of a “proper” guest. We headed over to the bar, where a sexy bartender made me a mimosa and my date an orange juice. I saw the other newbies whom we met at the door sitting on these decadent couches, and took the opportunity to mingle. We all chatted while other guests arrived, many already knowing each other. My secret to being comfortable and not awkward because I didn’t know anyone was my date’s breasts. They are ginormous, and when I got nervous, I jiggled them and slapped them around. I’m telling you, tits are a great sedative.
Next Maestro Stefanos, the host and Steward of The Upper Floor, called us all into the dining room to give us a quick pep talk and run down on how things were going to go. We were introduced to Kait Snow, who was the only slave for the brunch that day. Let me tell you, Kait Snow is fucking gorgeous, and her ass is just….I don’t have words actually. Being near her was an honor. Anyways, the fan girl in me was minutes away from asking for an autograph to many of the brunch participants. After we got a quick low-down from Maestro, we went back to mingling, and I went back to jiggling tits. According to friends of mine who were watching on camera, they got to catch this lovely action.
The Maestro wrung a giant bell, which signifies that the brunch was beginning, the paid camera was shooting, and food was being served. I stood being Mistress Winters, another host of the brunch, and another person whom I have a huge kink crush on. Tall fem-doms are just porn to me. Tell fem-doms who do porn just made me jittery. Let me say, she is a frickin sweet heart. She greeted us, chatted, and was a general joy to be around. Then the camera came by. I honestly can’t tell you how often I was on camera. I think possibly in the background (score!) and shot for a few seconds. Maestro asked us to introduce ourselves to the viewers. I put on my best face, and nervously mumbled my name and introduced my guest. And yes, I jiggled her breasts again. Like a good little girl, my date made me a plate of food, which was prepared by the lovely Nerine Mechanique, who is Maestro Stefanos’ slave. We made our way to a long table, set with glasses and tableware, and sat in the middle of the left side. I figured this way we had no choice but to be social. I was right, and we got to meet other guests and chat about non-kink things like hair dye and carpet cleaning. Seriously. I went to a porn shoot and got tips on how to properly clean my carpet, and not in a sexual way. A purple haired guy sitting next to me named Noah had long metal finger claws, which he happily dragged over my arms and neck. It put me in a happy place. Maestro made a speech thanking us for coming, letting us know that the table we were eating on was being replaced, so we could fuck on and destroy this one as much as we wanted. Due to all the glasses set up on the table, debatcury did not ensure on that location.
We then moved into the lounge, where some play was beginning. My date and I looked for a place to set up that wouldn’t get in the way of someone else’s scene. While we were negotiating what to do Maestro Stefano’s asked for everyone’s attention. He announced that his slave, Nerine, was going to be given to the house (The Upper Floor) to be trained as a slave. This was a beautiful BDSM moment, and showed the soft side of this seemingly wicked community. They were both teary-eyed as Maestro Stefanos removed his collar from her and replaced it with a chain collar that signifies her slavehood to The Upper Floor. He kissed her and we cheered, honored to be present for this special moment. After the announcement was over, the playing continued. I saw that the St. Andrews cross was free, so my date and I headed off to the parlor to grab our toys. In there we ran into Nerine, who announced to the room how nervous she was. We all congratulated her, showing the love and support that only the kink community can give. By the time we got back, the cross was taken, so I tied her to a beam that was in the center of the room. Here I am going to share my embarrassing moment. As I was warming her up, and giving her lady parts a nice massage, I looked to my right and saw a pre-set up box of condoms, sanitizer, lube, and towel wipes. I grabbed the bottle of lube, squirted some on my hand and began to massage her. I commented that the lube felt weird, and she told me (very unhappily) that I had been rubbing hand sanitizer on her hoo-hoo. Holy crap! I was so nervous I didn’t notice what bottle I picked up. I quickly cleaned her off, apologized profusely, and found the lube. First time I do anything sexual on camera, and I rub alcohol onto someone’s clit. Fail
After a little play, her arms began to hurt, so we decided to move to a different area. I noticed that a block in the center of a big open space was being unused. I cuffed her to the box, and finally began to proper play. To our left there was a big scene going on that the camera guy was focusing on. It was a school girl/principal scene, which Maestro Stefanos joined in on a little bit. I have to say I was a little jealous. Maestro Stefanos is a very mesmerizing man, and I’m pretty sure he’s one of the few guys I would ever bottom for (I’m a bit of a picky person when it comes to that). Anyways, I have my girl cuffed, stuffed with toys, vibrated, clothes pinned, the works. She is screaming her cute little ass off. The camera guy came by twice to look at us, but mainly focused on the schoolgirl scene. I can’t blame him, it was kind of adorable, but he missed me being squirted all over. We decided it was break time (we had been playing for about an hour) and sat down near friends of mine who were playing with electricity. For science sake, I leant them my metal dildo so we could see if the electricity could be felt while being fucked with it. Apparently it can. Hooray for science.
Keep in mind that all around me was screaming, yipping, crying, smacks, buzzing (from a cattle prod) and lord knows what else. It was the most distracting music to my ears. By this time things were dying down, time passed by pretty quickly. While my date and I sat and watched an adorable D/s scene, I decided to experiment while breast ties (did I mention her giant titties?). Then we sat and watched while Maestro Stefanos talked to viewers, auctioned off his clothes for a fundraiser, and said goodbye to the viewers. When the paying cameras turned off, they put some music on, and we lingered and decompressed a little bit before heading out. We went back to the parlor, collected out things, said thanks to Maestro Stefanos for having us there, and made our way down the wide stairs, giggling the whole time about our first adventure in porn.
But hopefully not!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
My favorite observation about color revolves around gender. Sex toys come in a large variety of colors, but pink and purple dominate the market. This is gendered marketing, assuming that all girls like pink and purple, so they will want these certain colors on their sex toys. This form of marketing sometimes works, as many women who come in (usually to buy their first toy) will go with something pink and light colored to feel at ease. My favorite moments is when women refuse to buy anything pink/purple as a way to defy this gendered industry. I have even had customers announce to me that they didn't want to buy "pink shit."
At the counter at the shop we have a display for bullet vibrators. These small clit vibes are usually bought last minute as an add on with a purchase. At least we keep them there for that reason. Through these quick purchases it is fun to figure out and guess which color someone will buy. The bullets come in four colors: pink, purple, blue, and green.
The pink vibes always sell first, followed by purple, then blue, and lastly green. A friend of mine once summarized the gender theory of color vibrators pretty well, "Pink is for girls, blue is for defiant girls, purple is for queers, and no one ever wants green." As blunt and slightly off putting this statement may be, it's pretty true. Time after time I have watched young girly girls squeal and giggle and grab for the pink vibrators. I have seen lesbian and gender queer couples and individuals prefer purple toys due to it being a gender neutral shade. I have sold blue vibrators to customers who have stated that they refuse to buy "pink shit". And the green vibrators end up piling up, being the choice for customers when there is no other option.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
1. "If I were a short, chubby virgin with a small dick and I wanted to learn how to use sex toys and experiment with a much taller woman, would that turn you on? What if I masturbated one or more time per day and I like to cook? "
3."Girl, you are so beautiful...I would go to battle against a family of silverback gorillas with only a plastic wiffle bat as my weapon just to have the oppurtunity to split a fifth of vodka with the male nurse that was in the delivery room when you were born. "
4."Before I get way to far ahead of myself I better be up front with you. Yes I do have a girlfriend and we have been together for a while. She is aware of what I'm doing, she ain't thrilled with the idea but understands. She dosent want anything to do with what I'm doing ( out of site out of mind).
Now back to the kink, I love cyber/phone/text sex and photo swapping, I don't wanna screw anybody but my girlfriend but a mans got fantasies! I was hoping this is something you would enjoy or know someone who would!
I do not have a pic of me on here but am more than willing to share one. The pic I do have up here is one of dr. Venture from the venture bros. I do resemble him more than I'd like but that's life. I am bald, long beard that comes to a point, and on the skinneyer side. I'd love to here back from you. You do seem to be one of the few honest people on here. Most are so full of shit I can smell it from here. "
5."Hey naughty girl.. I think you need a spanking.."
6."You should message me and see whats up tonight.. Im in need of some good company. You seem like a lot of fun. We should get to know each other..."
Two hours later
"You seem like a very freeing person.. I really dont have ant brutal honesty in my life right now.."
6 hours later
"sorry Im really bad at this "
7."u are hot as fuck... i may not look it but i am on ur wave length... lets chat "
8. "I would love to meet a sexy woman like you to hang out with.. I realize I dont have any pics, but, that is due to wanting to keep my professional and private life seperate... If we connect I would be happy to email you pics or trade xell numbers and send pics that way. Anyhow I hope to hear from you, I have a 12 pack, a hotel room and nothing to do and noone to do it with... ;) "
9. "love to fuck the hell out of you..
get back to me.... "
10. "hey, you think you are good at talking about sex?..well i dont think yo are as good at it as i am, would be cool to chat, you are amazing, i could teach u some hawaii stuff "
11. "Hey you look sweet really cute and cuddly lets fuck"
My response "No thank you"
"bitch i want to tear your mouth open and not let you breathe"
12. "want to taste 8) "
Saturday, April 16, 2011
I just hope he doesn't try to use it for anal
Friday, April 15, 2011
You may be reading this thinking "Hey! My sex toys weren't expensive! What the heck is she talking about?" Look at the packages your toys come in. Do they have ingredients? No? Research the material that your toy is, and what cheap chemicals are going into it. Many sex toy companies thrive off of cheap toys because they get away with it all too easily. Some people are embaressed about buying toys, so they will just grab whatever is being sold, and not think to research the product any further. People that do look into products and ingredients are often aware that sex toys that tend to be a bit more costly happen to be higher quality. When I say costly, I don't mean hundreds of dollars. Many high quality toys can be between $15-$20, which is still a lot more than their cheaper counter parts that can be found for around five bucks.
My work is one of the few proud sex stores that actually look into their products and the materials that go into them. We only sell high grade quality toys, which means no toxic chemicals, or gross jelly ingredients. Our silicone is %100, and our plastics are medical grade. Yes, this makes them a few dollars more, but we'd rather sell a fifty dollar toy and go to sleep at night knowing our products are poisening our customers than sell things quickly and cheaply.
It amazes me how much people will sacrifice health for an extra dollar. Mind you, I understand eating cheaper food and trying to pay as little as possible for clothes. As an avid thrift store shopping and dumpster diver, I do my best to try not to waste money. Yet, when it comes to sex toys and sexual health, trying to be cheap can be harmful to ones health. Note: this is not me condemning anyone who can't afford expensive sex toys. This is me wagging my finger at people being stubborn and putting themselves at risk when they can afford a better option. I hope I am conveying my thoughts correctly.
This couple came in today that was a pure example of how frustrating some people can be in this area. After browsing and asking questions, the guy asks me if I knew anything about orgasms and anal sex. I ask if he wants to know about male or female, and he says both. Lovely! I love couples who are open to anal exploration, as a sex educator and perv, it brings me glee. I start explaining how to find the g-spot anally for her, and about prostate stimulation for him. The guy then holds up a bullet vibrator and tells me he is going to buy it for this purpose. Alarm bells start going off in my head. When exploring anal play, you MUST use a toy that has a flair or flanged base. The anus can always contract at any moment, and if you are using a toy that doesn't have a wide base, the toy gets sucked right up. This is "The Big End" by Platinum toys. See how it's base is wider than the neck of the toy? This ensures that it will not get sucked up and lost in your body. This is "The Little Chroma" by JimmyJane. See how there is no flare, and how it is a straight line? Imagine what would happen if you put this in your butt and then your muscles contract and you loose your grip. That readers, is a pleasant trip to the hospital for you.
I explain this all to the couple. Apparently the woman already knew this, and been telling him that the $18 toy he wanted to get was not safe to use, but he was determined since it was our cheapest toy. I showed him similar toys, but since they were all about ten dollars more, he refused. He them picked out a similar toy that had a longer handle, stating that if he held a good grip on it, nothing bad could happen. I explain to him that it isn't worth risking the trip to the hospital, and his response was that if it did get sucked into his butt, he could just use lube and dig it out. Umm....really? I again told him that there is still the possibility that he would need to go to the emergency room. His lady friend was telling him this too, but he kept shutting us both down.
In the end they still bought something not entirelly anal safe (it was a vibrator with a long handle that slightly bulged out, not built for anal play) but more safe than what he wanted. Since it was a few dollars more, the woman paid for the whole thing. The guy even stopped me from running the card to make sure she didn't want to think again about getting something cheaper. She looked like she was ready to smack him.
The moral of the story here is don't sacrifice your sexual health, expecially your anus, for saving a few bucks. There are better things to be thrifty about.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Wrong assumption. I get to walk her through every single toy we own, answering all her itty bitty questions. Yay....
Okay, I know I am being over sensitive, but this woman bugged me. She constantly asked me, while holding up an item, if people "actually used this." I gotta tell you, common sense, if we are selling it, people use it. So yes, people use masturbation sleeves, yes people use glass toys, etc. I think what really annoyed me was that she kept using the excuse that she's "from a small town". She used this excuse like 10x in my interaction with her. Her husband even used it.
But how can being from a small town be an excuse when your buying vibrating anal beads?