Friday, March 26, 2010

Don't you dare buy that!

We get a lot of couples in here. That is probably pretty obvious. What is not obvious is how many couples get in fights in here. A couple will come in, hand in hand, all lovey dovey and ready for a special night. Some leave pleased, giggling and kissing their naughty thoughts into the night. Sometimes couples get in debates about things. One will hold up a toy and their partner will nod in agreement or look disgusted, which is an interesting point in itself. The partner never poliety rejects the object. Instead they must have an overeactive statement to point out to everyone in ear shot (mainly me) how against it they are. Honestly, I don't care. If you come into a sex shop and you think you're the most exiting person I've expereinced, sorry to disapoint. You're not. And if you are, we should be friends.

Anyways. The fights. So today this nice boy-girl couple comes in. It's their first time here. How can I tell? They grab every free flyer and postcard possible off our shelves. Which is fine, it's why they're FREE. But the newbies always look nervous when doing it. They also spend a ridiculously long time in the store, but only buy something in the $20 range. Another sign of cautious newbies. So the couple comes in, looks around together, and then veer off into their own sections. The female looks at lubricants, asking way too many questions to me about products she never ends up buying. Her excuse? "Oh, we already have lubricant at home." Fine lady, whatever. The male goes over to the fetish section and picks up a medical play device called a pinwheel.

She automatically has a little fit. Maybe she was freaked out that he was in the fetish section. Did he have a side of him that he never shared? Or is she embarassed that he picked something out that revealed something about their sex lives that she didn't want to "publically" share? Or is she angry that he doesn't know what she likes? No matter the reason, this sparked a fight. She told him to put it down, that he was going to hurt himself, to stop touching it. Through out their whole trip she kept prodding him to put it away or to leave it alone. When they came up to the register he had it in hand and she turns to him and says "Don't you dare buy that! Let's not fight in front of her (meaning me)." Defeated he put his prized possession back on the shelf, and she grumbly hands me her cash to buy a glittery butt plug. I am not sure what exactly happened, but I'm pretty sure he's going to get an earful.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


Just needed to thank the gentleman who ruined my buzz by standing at the counter telling me about his sex felonies and his multiple arrests for public exposure and touching women's butts.


And then sometimes I get caught off guard

Not going to lie, sometimes I have crushes on customers. Especially those who come in to buy something special for their partner. The ones who care and take note and really want to please their special someone. It's such a turn on to find someone who will go into a sex shop and spend the time really studying what will get their partner off. It's even more a turn on when said individual is attractive.

Dear dark handsome man with the beautiful accent,
You made me stutter and fumble my words when helping you find a vibrator for your special lady. I actually was flushed from listening to your confusion over toys, watching you examine each toy as if it were the tender parts of your partner. Five more minutes of you asking me questions and I would have demoed anything you'd like. I still have butterflies in my stomach from our brief interaction. And it was just orgasmic that you took note of what you thought she would like and went to tell her about it. Please come back soon,
and bring her too. ; )

Friday, March 19, 2010

Anal Exploration

The ass. We all have one.

As sexpert Tristan Taormino once said, the ass is the "universal hole". It is non gendered, not judgemental, and open to all.

Anal play is still the one area that I find people are the most uncomfortable with. Maybe it's because we're raised in a society where things we do in the bathroom is "private" and therefore should never be talked about, especially in a sexual manner. The ass is forbidden, it is only meant for defecation, and once that happens, we must not talk about it. Geez, sometimes I swear we should sell a copy of "Everyone Poops" right next to the anal sex position guides. But anal play isn't about going #2 (well for some people it may be). The anus is another erogenous zone. A taboo one at that, but one still. We get stimulation and pleasure out of this friendly little hole, whether somethings coming out of or going in it.

At our store we have a pretty decent anal play section. We carry everything from anal beads, vibrating plugs, prostate stimulators to enema kits. Customers who wander our store eventually end up here. They either spend a long amount of time staring, or blush, lower their eyes, and move into something less embarrassing, like lingerie. But then there are my favorite customers, the bold ass lovers, who talk and ask questions. They explore this erogenous zone, and their partners as well.

A few months ago a couple (guy and girl) came in a few months ago, shyly asking about anal play on him. They had been in before, holding hands while whispering ideas and secrets to each other. At first they bought some black gloves for finger stimulation. They next visit they bought the silk dildo by tantus, a small smooth dildo perfect for beginner anal play. A few days later they bought a simple beginners harness. Today they were back, and added the Leo dildo by Vixen to their collection. This progression from beginner to intermediate always makes me so happy. They explored and found new ways to give each other pleasure. The girl was bold and proud, grabbing her new toy and proudly presenting it to me at the register.

So to those ass adventurers out there, keep exploring the deep beyond!
Just make sure to use lube.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Battle of Clits....I mean wits

So there's two sex shops in our community. One is obviously my work place, where we specialize in adult products that are of a higher quality and have a small variety of corsets, fishnets, pasties, and all those adornment goodies. When people walk in our store they describe it as "warm and welcoming". We have no secret backroom (unless you count the inventory closet), everything we sell we have out on the floor. It's a very sex positive lifestyle supportive store.

The other store is actually around the corner from us. It has two rooms. The front is all lingerie, costumes, corsets, and dresses. A hallway full of feather boas leads you to the backroom, where the sex toys are sold. Before my store opened, I used to shop here all the time. Actually, I still do. Since the stores are not the same, it doesn't feel like cheating. Just checking out my different options.

Right now there's a slight battle going on between the stores.
As much as I would love a sex shop community support system, over the years it has turned into a mud slinging battle. Being the smaller and newer store, it has been extremely difficult for us to even stay in business. Yet, we have survived and provided a sex positive service to the community.

What I think works is that the two stores are not identical. Ours focuses on products we have reviewed and recommend, as well as local authors and toy providers. We also offer weekly classes in which people can learn and listen to a variety of topics. The other store, like I mentioned, has more costumes and clothing. Yes they do have a sex toy area, but they are mainly known for the outfits. It's important to keep the two store distinct and to give people different options. Having one store in an area may to profitable for that store, but it gives people no variety. Where's the fun?

Personally, I think the employees of the store should have a pudding wrestling contest for charity. How kick ass would that be?

*sigh* a girl can dream

Saturday, March 13, 2010

It must be Saturday

Saturday night is the most exiting shift. Not only is it date night, but it's also when we get the most peculiar comments. Something about the end of the week makes people blurt out and do stand out things.

Enter the 70 year old man, who after looking at an expensive sex toy remarks "$298! For that much a woman can buy a REAL man!"

Then take the couple that walked around the shop with one girl having her body wrapped completely around the front of her girlfriend. They bought a stripper pole.

Oh, don't forget the creeper in the corner of the store reading erotica. I sent his ass home after explaining politely that we are not a library and he needs to either buy the book, or leave. (he does this every week)

Yup, it is definitely Saturday

Friday, March 12, 2010

Gravity Vagina

Yesterday I had one of the most interesting customers. And by interesting I do not mean crazy or sketchy. She has a prolapsed vagina, or simply put, her vagina falls out. I had heard of this condition before from a gynecology class I took years ago. So luckily for me, I wasn't totally caught off guard. It's the weakening of the muscles or ligaments in the vagina, which causes the uterus to fall, which over time weakens the vaginal walls. There are many different stages, the most extreme being the vagina being pushed out past the vaginal opening.

To help strengthen her vaginal muscles we picked out some kegal exercises balls, which help with vaginal tightening and muscle strength.

I also helped her pick out a dildo that she could wear inside of her all day to keep her vagina from falling out while she was at work. She decided on a small bendable one with a base so that her underwear could hold it in place.

This condition is not as uncommon as we may think. It is most common in women in their 40s, during menopause or after childbirth. But many women will not get it checked out due to embarrassment. Yes, at first it does sound a little funny to say that your vagina is falling out, but it is a serious condition.

Love your vagina's ladies, check in with yourself and never be afraid if something seems "off"

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Ms. Avi

I have two jobs.

The first you already know about. I sell sex toys, teach adult content classes, give out sexual advice. I've been doing it for years, ever since I became legal. Actually, I was promoting sexual information by the age of 15, educating myself as much as possible and volunteering for my high schools guidance counselor who also happened to be the sex educator as well. At 16 I distributed condoms to my classroom and cause quite the commotion for passing them around freely. But then again, I also started my public school first Gay Straight Alliance that year, so I was used to being under the scrutiny of others for my openness about sexuality. I never dreamed that someone would actually hire me to teach about sex. For me it was something that I enjoyed and felt comfortable teaching about. Sex education was my hobby. In college I volunteered as a safe sex information distributor, which eventually lead me into having the career I have today. I have be blessed with the opportunity and chance to make myself a professional (and paid) sex educator.

My second job is also in education. I am a substitute teacher at elementary and middle schools. I teach general math, English, and writing, as well as some sciences. I guess it's not too surprising that I have two teaching jobs since I love educating. What I find interesting is how the two areas can never mix. I once spoke to a customer about how I had taught 4th grade that morning and she asked me how I am able to teach children in the morning, and then adults at night. Don't I have to switch from on teaching mode to another? Honestly, yes. I am not the same teacher in the morning that I am at night. If I were the same, I'd probably be fired or arrested.

I think about what the parents of the students I am teaching would think if they found out who was teaching their kids. Would they find it as amusing as I do, or would they think of me as a pervert? There's always the possibility that a customer that I work with one afternoon has had a child in my classroom that morning.

I do get a little enjoyment that I am a professional "sub".

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Erotic Art

My store recently decided to display local art in cooperation with our towns downtown community art board. We displayed a series of erotic photography from local artist Sasha Neese ( Her series "Dreams" is an assortment of nude self portraits. We had a reception last night, serving cheese and chocolate to the local art patrons.

It was very amusing seeing the art folks who had never heard of our buisness come in. The initial shock of realizing we were a smut store knocked them off guard a bit. Not saying that all art patrons are snotty, but I'm pretty sure they expected to walk into a gallery or some other kind of high retail store. Well, we are high quality, but not in the way one would expect.

Some people looked around very quickly, talked to our artist, and then rushed away into the night. Others dared to look around, their eyes darting from photos of naked Ms. Neese to our devious toys.

Overall it was a successful night and a very interesting addition to our stores reputation.

Oh, and most interesting thing I heard that night? A woman uses veggitable oil as a lubricant. People, if it is not meant to go on your genitals, don't use it.!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Names for my job

Sex shop worker
Adult educator
Adult toy distributor
Adult health worker
Sex industry member
Adult sex industry member
Smut peddler