Saturday, October 24, 2009

Things I have learnt from customers

Never assume that because they are older then you, that they are sexually informed. I had a customer come in and after a long struggle ask for "something you put on a condom and a woman to make it more..." After a little confusion I realized he was describing lube. Working at a sex shop sometimes puts me in this bubble that "most" people are aware of the basics: condoms, lubricant, and porn. But then there are people like this guy that reminds me why sex education even for adults is important. Especially for adults. He and his partner had been using peppermint soap as a lubricant because he thought lube was for gay men.

Some people will disclose personal information that has nothing to do with sex, just because they feel that they are in an intimate and personal environment

Keep a straight face. Sex makes some people uncomfortable and say the most awkward or awful things A woman became flustered by a very large dildo and began to giggle and proclaim loudly that this was probably meant just for black women. Keeping a straight face I replied that people from many races and genders have purchased "The Outlaw". I'm used to hearing homophobic and sexist remarks in the store ("that's meant for lesbians" "purple is for women" etc) but first time hearing anything about race.

A customer being a dick often means they are just nervous and are trying to make you the uncomfortable one. Role reversal.

A customer hitting on you often means they are just nervous and are trying ti make you the uncomfortable one. Role reversal.

When some says "thank you" and how much they appreciate your help, they mean it. I've spent lengths of time listening and assisting people with their questions, and it never gets old when someone actually looks pleased and relieved at the end of the interaction.

Okay, thats all for now

-Avi Answers

Friday, October 16, 2009

Friday Night Blues

Sitting at the store, wondering where all the people are. I usually work the weekend night shifts, which provides me with colorful character folk to observe and report upon. Yet today seems to be a slow night. I clocked in at 5pm (it is currently a quarter to 7) and havn't seen a soul since. So what does an employee do when left alone for hours?

I use all the demo products behind the counter


When you, the customer are not here, I do chores. It may not sound as exiting as testing out our products, its not. I clean, organize, make notes, calls, etc.

Sometimes I do try on a costume or corset, and then get caught off guard when a customer comes in whilst i'm prancing around as a cop/bunny/pirate.

Right now I'm just wondering where the hell everyone is.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Judgement on the positive

Recently one of my favorite sexual educators, Midori, came out with an article on Carnal Nation about her contraction of HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus) and how it helped her survive the pinnacle of the AIDS epidemic.

It's a good read, and I highly recommend it.

It made me think of the judgment that people put on those who are STD (sexually transmitted disease) or STI (sexual transmitted infection) positive. Recently a friend came to visit me from Las Angeles. We were gossiping about a disliked fiancée of one of our mutual friends. As this man (the friend) had hooked up with one of my friends during the past year or two, the subject of his infidelity and their complicated relationship is always a good topic. This time she snidely remarked that my friend should get tested because his fiancée tested positive for HPV. There was a pause. A wait for my negative reaction, to call her a slut, for us to make fun of her sexual misfortune. I just couldn't though. HPV has become so common these days it's not funny. Well, no sexually transmitted anything should be "funny", but I'm sure I'm not the only one whose guilty of laughing at someone I don't like when they've contracted the clap one too many times. If I am, my bad. Sorry world, I am sex positive, but above all, I am still human with my faults.

One of them being HPV.

Oh yes, I am one of so many who are positive. (holla!!!!) Though I take it very seriously, I still get a jolt of excitement when I find another fellow HPV-er or someone else who has an STD (STD meaning incurable, STI meaning curable.) It's like we're in this club. And many times it's highly misunderstood. Did I want this disease? No. Could I have prevented it? Possibly, if I were abstinent. Do I practice safe sex as often as possible and preach sexual safety to the high heavens? Fuck yeah! Did I still contract something? Yuppers. Life happens, sex happens, and therefore we must accept the consequences.

I sent Midori a thank you letter for "coming out". It's hard to declare being positive, so many assumptions are made. I should know, I am guilty of making them too. As I have stated before, I am only human, not a sexual p.c. saint. But seriously? Kudos to her and kudos to anyone else that is positive and still living a safe and active sex life and are damn proud of it. In no way do I mean to encourage spreading STDs. What I mean is that knowledge and experience should be spread. Every time I explain my HPV to a partner they learn something new, and come face to face with what I feel our society has taught us to fear the most: the sexually diseased. Those deviants who to their own misfortune have turned to sin and are now paying for it. But again much thanks and kudos to those public figures who are able to step out and educate the public. Who take their "misfortune" and spin it into gold.

My oh my that was an intimate post.

Take Care

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sexy Halloween Costumes

As much as I love to criticize and judge girls who use Halloween as an excuse to dress sexy and let their inner slut, I am at fault.

Sitting in a maids outfit behind the cash register is the coolest sensation ever.

I feel pretty.

Friday, October 9, 2009

My favorite toy

Customers ask a lot of personal questions. This is no suprise, since they are disclosing intimate details to me, they'd like to hear some back. I tend to avoid personal preference though, because everyones sex preferences are different. What may feel good for me may be a terrible experience for someone else. Probably once a day I get asked what my favorite vibrator that we carry is, or if I have tried any of them. I deffer by showing the most popular selling, or ones that have been customer recommended.

You want to hear a secret?

I don't use vibrators.

I own a ton. Friends keep buying me them because it seems like a logical gift to give to someone who works in the sex industry. But honestly? I don't use them. Oh I have tried; big ones, small ones, g-spot stimulators, clit vibes, double stimulators, the works. I have done mono and partner stimulation. I just don't care for them. I have never enjoyed using a vibrator.

This for some reason is shocking news. But I think it's important for people to understand that vibrators are not for everyone, even those that are surrounded by them all day. There is not one epic sex toy that works for everyone. There are ones that work for a lot of people, but again, not everyone. Our bodies are complicated and different.

So what is my favorite sex toy? I have a few, which I use to my own disgression. They get me off and make me happy, bring me to climaxes I never thought possible. Some make me cry, scream, laugh, or a combination of all that.
And they are my partners, my lovers, my companions.
Made of flesh and bone, and squishy innards. Sorry to those who expect that medical grade plastics and vibrations can satisfy me. It works for many, but just not for me.

But that's not to say I don't own a chest load of toys (I do, it's huge and currently disorganized). Toys for me are additions to sex. They can make a scene even more pleasurable. And I always have room for more.

Just don't get me a vibrator


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Squeaky Clean Sex

Sex is dirty, sex is messy, sex is gross.
Sex is sweaty, sex is lubey, sex is cummy.

Sex stores don't have to mimic this aspect. The mailman came into our store today and asked how I was doing, nodding towards my windex and paper towels that I had just stashed behind the counter. "Oh I'm fine, just cleaning." Glancing around he shrugged "it looks pretty clean." I asked, "Would people come in if it weren't?"

The most popular praise I get on my work place is how clean it is, usualy coming in a suprised manner. What are customers expecting? Dirty displays, sticky questionable puddles, flies surrounding the counter? Everyday we scrub and polish, dust and shine, to make sure that the store is as clean as possible.

Personally, I have visited other stores that don't clean their products as often. And readers? It's gross. A sex toy must be taken care of, even if it is meant for display and not for sexual use. How toys are displayed are how they attract their possible future owners. I once put my fingers in a masturbation sleeve and pulled out gross dust clumps. I don't think anyone wants to stick their fingers in any pussy, be it silicone or real, and pull out dirt. Clean it. I clean our masturbation sleeves twice a week at least, with soap, water, and other secret cleaning ingedients. The only thing I want people to feel when they stick their fingers in is the suction and ribbed sensations that the product offers. (Fleshlight if you were wondering what product).

It reminds me of a poster I used to have in middle school: A clean room is a sign of a sick mind"
A clean store for dirty deeds.

Take care

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Our journey begins

When approached about my profession, I find myself becoming hesitant. Though I feel no shame, embarrassment, nor shyness about my work, I always take a moment to pause and think about what the "correct" answer would be.

I am many things. An adult store employee would be the simple version of my profession, and usually gets an amusing reaction, but doesn't satisfy my own definition. Sometimes I am an "adult boutique" employee, as if adding sophistication would put the conversation somewhere at ease. Other times I "work in the adult industry", which although true, is too general and often times gets me confused with other adult professions. And then there are the times I stretch the truth and become a "woman's apparel" employee. This is my least favorite answer, but the one I save for those who would be too faint of heart to learn the truth: my extended family and my parent's co-workers.

At times it feels as though I am "coming out" when talking about my work. That it is something intimate and important that I reveal with hopes of being accepted and encouraged. I have gotten a full range of responses. The blank stares of shock followed by a smirk and a pat on the shoulder. Exited smiles and beckoning over friends to talk about when they can visit me. And of course, the assumption that I am only doing my work in order to pay the bills. As if the economy has forced me into degrading work that if given the choice, I would run from.

Let me tell you a little secret: I've been working here for over a year, before I went broke and before the job market started sucking. There is a stack of over fifty applications from people jumping at the opportunity to work my job under the store counter. People beg me for a position.

I've started this blog as a reflection of the time I have spent in my profession. I don't know how long I will be here, where life will take me, but I would like people to have some insight of what us "sex store workers" actually.

Join me as I delve into my world of sex, intimacy, products, and customers. It's going to be one hell of a ride.