Friday, March 26, 2010

Don't you dare buy that!

We get a lot of couples in here. That is probably pretty obvious. What is not obvious is how many couples get in fights in here. A couple will come in, hand in hand, all lovey dovey and ready for a special night. Some leave pleased, giggling and kissing their naughty thoughts into the night. Sometimes couples get in debates about things. One will hold up a toy and their partner will nod in agreement or look disgusted, which is an interesting point in itself. The partner never poliety rejects the object. Instead they must have an overeactive statement to point out to everyone in ear shot (mainly me) how against it they are. Honestly, I don't care. If you come into a sex shop and you think you're the most exiting person I've expereinced, sorry to disapoint. You're not. And if you are, we should be friends.

Anyways. The fights. So today this nice boy-girl couple comes in. It's their first time here. How can I tell? They grab every free flyer and postcard possible off our shelves. Which is fine, it's why they're FREE. But the newbies always look nervous when doing it. They also spend a ridiculously long time in the store, but only buy something in the $20 range. Another sign of cautious newbies. So the couple comes in, looks around together, and then veer off into their own sections. The female looks at lubricants, asking way too many questions to me about products she never ends up buying. Her excuse? "Oh, we already have lubricant at home." Fine lady, whatever. The male goes over to the fetish section and picks up a medical play device called a pinwheel.

She automatically has a little fit. Maybe she was freaked out that he was in the fetish section. Did he have a side of him that he never shared? Or is she embarassed that he picked something out that revealed something about their sex lives that she didn't want to "publically" share? Or is she angry that he doesn't know what she likes? No matter the reason, this sparked a fight. She told him to put it down, that he was going to hurt himself, to stop touching it. Through out their whole trip she kept prodding him to put it away or to leave it alone. When they came up to the register he had it in hand and she turns to him and says "Don't you dare buy that! Let's not fight in front of her (meaning me)." Defeated he put his prized possession back on the shelf, and she grumbly hands me her cash to buy a glittery butt plug. I am not sure what exactly happened, but I'm pretty sure he's going to get an earful.

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