Saturday, June 4, 2011

Sex Shop Worker Resume

Since giving my notice of leaving, I have begun to get sentimental of all the things I have learned while working at the sex shop. After all, there are certain skills that just can't translate to the non-sex shop world that I am very proud of, but will probably never use again.

For instance, I can clean a male masturbation sleeve in under five minutes. Give me a gross, lord-knows-what covered sleeve, and I slip on my latex gloves, and can turn around a clean, ready to use toy, no problem.

I can also clean various material dildos, including silicone, TPR, plastic, metal, and glass.

I can stock vibrators in a decorative manner to make them look appealing and eye-catching without taking away from their neighbors.

I can up-sale most toys, adding on lube, condoms, other toys, anything I can add-on to the sale

I can organize a jar of crops to look like a bouquet of pretty implements

I can clean off erotic novels so it doesn't appear that creepy people have been sitting in the corner reading them all day

I have a mental list of local strip clubs memorized to refer horn-dog customers to

I can research porn without masturbating or being distracted, and I can do it while customers are in the room and not let on what I am watching

1 comment:

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