Last night we had one of our weekly classes. This week's class was on strap-on play, with actual live demonstrations. At first I was pretty nervous that as a shop we would get in trouble or at least a negative reputation in the community. But the instructor was very professional and had what she called "educational sex", where there was penetration, but no orgasms or moaning and or full blown sex. It was actually one of the best classes I think we've ever had. Thank you Rain DeGrey.
After class I was talking to Miss DeGrey and her demo bottom Devi Lynne about the internet and being publically "out" as a sexual educator and to what degree. For example, I am not completely out. I have this blog, a fetlife account, a twitter account, and a private email for all my sexual material, be that advertisements or rants. (by the way if you want to follow me on twitter: AviAnswers) On facebook, I am in the closet. I do mention that I work at a sex shop, but I am not as blunt and open about my life as I am on twitter or those other sites. Perhaps it's for the sake of my friends and family members who would rather not know about my work. Or maybe it's just for myself. I know that I have caused quite a stir with some people who know me already due to my facebook posts, but that's with things I consider petty mild. I took in the habit a few months ago to limit the viewing abilities of family members or anyone who would report back to my family. Though my parents know of my work, I don't think they would want to know the extent of what I do. There's still a part of me that would rather have them be in the dark.
Devi said that she got tired of living a double life and finally came out on facebook as a sexual educator and sex industry participant. It makes me wonder how much longer I will be able to juggle these two lives. And what happens if the merge? Will those who love me now turn their heads in disgust? There are already scandalous photos and videos of me floating out there. What happens when my parents see them?
Too many of my porn star friends have been pushed away from their families when they came out. I don't want my family to think I've become obscene or troubled. Thanks to the sex industry I am finally comfortable with who I am and what I do.
Sometimes I feel like it's only time.