Hello!
So recently I have been looking for housing and filling out lots of housing applications. I haven't moved for a few years, so I forgot that you need to write your means of employment to prove that you can pay rent. While getting proof of payment from my work, someone asked me if I use the actual name of my employers, or use a general coorporation title. For example, instead of "sex shop sales person" should I put "retail associate".
Sometimes I forget that people still have a problem with sex shops, and that this line of work to some is not considered valid or "a real job". Personally I've had to exaplin more than once to my parents that this is legit work, and for me working in this industry isn't a joke or a quick way to make money. I actually believe that by working at a sex shop I am helping out humanity in one way or another.
I talked to some fellow sex shop workers and they told me that sometimes housing companies won't work with anyone in the sex industry, which is why sometimes you need to be very vague on the forms. But my line of work is just as legal and legit as theirs. Why do I need to feel ashamed and hide my profession?
After four years, you'd think I would stop being so surprised by peoples actions.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
How can you be so sexually open? It's remarkable.
I consider myself to be sexually casual, verses open. I like to keep sex as a casual topic, to help normalize it and fight it from being such a taboo topic.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Have you ever played a kink scene with someone who you are not sexually attracted to?
I've done some kink instructionals with some people that I wasn't attracted to, but not full private scenes. Oh, and some light public play
Is it wrong to play a kink scene with someone who you are not sexually attracted to?
Kink play isn't about sexual attraction. But there should be some sort of attraction, at least to the scene. There should be communication between the players though about the scene.
Sex at a Science Museum?
Today I went to the Nemo, which is Amsterdam's biggest science museum. http://www.e-nemo.nl/
It's pretty epic, about five floors of different exhibits that cover facts about space, chemistry, physics, electricity, genetics, aaaaannnnnd.....SEX!
Oh yes, they teach sex in an all ages science museum. In fact, there is an entire floor called the "Teen Center" which teaches about sexuality, sex, and gender. Not just teens attend the exhibit, but families with their children as well. Through videos, hands on education centers, and computer quizzes about personality and sexual identity.
Sign that advertises the exhibit
There is also an area called "Let's Talk About Sex", where people ages 10 and up can come in and learn more about sex in-depth.
It also resembles the red light district, with booths on the inside that you can insert coins into and learn facts and test your sex knowledge.
In one of the booths there is a sex knowledge quiz that I took, to se that exactly they would cover. Wow, was I amazed. Not only did they ask questions about the frequency of female masturbation, but they also asked about if there is a connection between porn-watchers and child molesters (answer is no) and other pretty interesting sex questions about hymans and virginity.
I scored 100%. Yeaaaaahhhhh.
On the wall is a bunch of facts about sex myths
In another booth they give you information about erogenous zones
They also have a display of different sex positions using wooden figures
Overall I was pretty impressed with the amount of information that is covered in this exhibit, and how open and free everything is.
Oh, and here is a picture from a test that used my pulse to rate my reaction to different images. They showed bugs, and babies, and kittens, and people eating spiders, and violence. Here is the picture that got my pulse rating the most:
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
For the Love of Violence
Let me start off with an explanation that I am in a consensual sado-masochistic relationship and that all stories of my kink life are done safely, sanely, and consensually.
My latest course in Amsterdam is on Young Sexualities. Part of our research involves reading studies surround the concept of love and violence in South Africa. In some parts ofSouth Africa, violence against women, especially in youth, is tolerated and promoted as an act of masculinity. Currently I am reading an article about how injuries are beyond love, that they show an aspect of ownership and are also a way for the male to vent off his frustrations. Many women reported that they encouraged getting a "take-five" (face slap) because it showed love, that they cared. A lack of care is indicated if she was severely hurt and he wouldn't take her to the clinic, or wouldn't apologize afterwards.
I sit here reading this while talking to my partner about all the terrible things he has planned for me when I return from my trip. He plans to hit me, hurt me, punish me for talking back at him. And I blush and smile, glad that he is able to show how much he cares for me.
(On a more coincidental note, I am also listening to "Sister" by She Wants Revenge. "You can hurt me, do whatever you like" is part of the chorus. It's one of my favorite songs.)
It's very important to understand the difference between kinky relationship violence, and actual abuse. Some will assume that I am perverse for doing these readings whilst negotiating a violent scene for when I am back home.
There is a clear distinction for me between being slapped across the face for purposefully incorrectly following protocol (aka being bratty), and "taking-five" for having a cheeky demeanor. Though one can debate that these women who live under the delusion that being hit equals being cared for live under the same perverse delusion tent that I live under, believing that when my partner throws me to the ground and gives me a black eye, it is because we have an intimate connection. For me the real difference is that when I red out, it is listened to. I choose to be in this lovely fucked up relationship and can choose to stop it if I want to. These women can't. They are trapped by social pressure and living conditions, with no opportunity to red out of life.
Violence for me is sexy. To be more specific, pre-consented-"non-consensual"-violence-that-I-have-the-right-to-stop-even-though-personally-I-probably-won't-unless-somethings-going-really-wrong for me is sexy. There is a difference between actual violence, and my own kink definition, whether or not it may be clear.
Non-consensual violence, whether in the South African community or the kink community, should never be tolerated.
My latest course in Amsterdam is on Young Sexualities. Part of our research involves reading studies surround the concept of love and violence in South Africa. In some parts ofSouth Africa, violence against women, especially in youth, is tolerated and promoted as an act of masculinity. Currently I am reading an article about how injuries are beyond love, that they show an aspect of ownership and are also a way for the male to vent off his frustrations. Many women reported that they encouraged getting a "take-five" (face slap) because it showed love, that they cared. A lack of care is indicated if she was severely hurt and he wouldn't take her to the clinic, or wouldn't apologize afterwards.
I sit here reading this while talking to my partner about all the terrible things he has planned for me when I return from my trip. He plans to hit me, hurt me, punish me for talking back at him. And I blush and smile, glad that he is able to show how much he cares for me.
(On a more coincidental note, I am also listening to "Sister" by She Wants Revenge. "You can hurt me, do whatever you like" is part of the chorus. It's one of my favorite songs.)
It's very important to understand the difference between kinky relationship violence, and actual abuse. Some will assume that I am perverse for doing these readings whilst negotiating a violent scene for when I am back home.
There is a clear distinction for me between being slapped across the face for purposefully incorrectly following protocol (aka being bratty), and "taking-five" for having a cheeky demeanor. Though one can debate that these women who live under the delusion that being hit equals being cared for live under the same perverse delusion tent that I live under, believing that when my partner throws me to the ground and gives me a black eye, it is because we have an intimate connection. For me the real difference is that when I red out, it is listened to. I choose to be in this lovely fucked up relationship and can choose to stop it if I want to. These women can't. They are trapped by social pressure and living conditions, with no opportunity to red out of life.
Violence for me is sexy. To be more specific, pre-consented-"non-consensual"-violence-that-I-have-the-right-to-stop-even-though-personally-I-probably-won't-unless-somethings-going-really-wrong for me is sexy. There is a difference between actual violence, and my own kink definition, whether or not it may be clear.
Non-consensual violence, whether in the South African community or the kink community, should never be tolerated.
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