A few nights ago I went to a friends house and he wasn't back from work yet, so I made chit chat with his mother. Of course, the subject of what I am doing with my life came up right away. When I told her where I worked she replied with, "Well, at least you're not a stripper."
Not surprisingly, I've gotten this response before. When you work in the sex industry, people always like to compare you with other occupations that they think are "lower". I don't know if this reasoning is for their benefit or meant as some sort of weird comfort to me, but it's one of my least favorite reactions.
First off, I don't think of stripping as "the worst thing ever". In fact, I have friends who are strippers, dancers, burlesque performers, gogo girls, topless performers, etc. And these folks are awesome. And like every career out there, some of them love it, some of them hate it but need the money, and some of them would do it even if they weren't getting any compensation besides the experience.
Second, why do people feel like I need to be comforted that things could always be worse? This phrasing puts down my career choice, and is extremely sex negative. Working at a sex shop is not a crime, nor is it something that I was forced into. I have worked this job for four years now, and I have no intention on leaving right away. When stating my place of work, in no way am I pleading a cry for help, nor do I need you to say something to make me feel better. All I am simply doing is stating my job.
I am a sex shop worker
Proud and true
Hear me roar!
Buzz buzz buzz
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Out and About
Sometimes I forget that just because I am sex-casual doesn't mean that my surroundings are.
I take the bus every day to and from work, and sometimes I like to bring reading material with me. Since my work constantly updates its library, I like to keep myself in the loop and skim through a few books a week. My co workers were talking about how they use book jackets to cover their reading materials whenever they are in public. I don't. I don't really get self-conscious about the books I read, and I like when the person next to me starts reading along after realizing what the content is. I have yet to be called out for my raunchy reads, but I've gotten a few awkward glances.
Today I went to a museum with my father. I recently was given a messenger bag that has a sex toy companies logo across it and I wear it everywhere. For my fathers comfort I flipped the bag around so the logo faced me (he's not exactly gung-ho about my career choice). When going through museum security, we had to have our bags searched. I handed my bag over to the cute security guard, and waited as his eye brows raised at the erotic words on my bag. I held back a smile as he riffled through my stuff, which included a copy of Jay Wiseman's "SM 101" and he blushed. Happily I accepted my bag back and gave him a cheerful thank you as he stared at me while I walked away.
I take the bus every day to and from work, and sometimes I like to bring reading material with me. Since my work constantly updates its library, I like to keep myself in the loop and skim through a few books a week. My co workers were talking about how they use book jackets to cover their reading materials whenever they are in public. I don't. I don't really get self-conscious about the books I read, and I like when the person next to me starts reading along after realizing what the content is. I have yet to be called out for my raunchy reads, but I've gotten a few awkward glances.
Today I went to a museum with my father. I recently was given a messenger bag that has a sex toy companies logo across it and I wear it everywhere. For my fathers comfort I flipped the bag around so the logo faced me (he's not exactly gung-ho about my career choice). When going through museum security, we had to have our bags searched. I handed my bag over to the cute security guard, and waited as his eye brows raised at the erotic words on my bag. I held back a smile as he riffled through my stuff, which included a copy of Jay Wiseman's "SM 101" and he blushed. Happily I accepted my bag back and gave him a cheerful thank you as he stared at me while I walked away.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Running into Sex Shop Workers: Awkward or entertaining?
Recently I went to an event where I ran into two customers. These two separate interactions are pretty much representatives of the most common responses I get when accidentally running into people that I have sold to.
Customer #1:
Whilst walking out a doorway, a young blonde woman started staring at me. I smiled and said hello, and she squinted her eyes as if to examine me, and asked if I was from a certain town (I am). When she asked where she knew me from, I jokingly said that I probably have sold her a sex toy, since I worked in a shop for three years down there. Mind you, I wasn't sincere about this connection, but the linkliness that she had seen me there was pretty high. Right away her face starts to go pink, and then red, and she starts stammering. She mumbles that I was probably right, and pretty much looked like she was ready to run. I told her it was okay to run into me, it happens pretty often and that she shouldn't be embarassed. If anything, it's a funny story to tell. A random guy who apparently had heard this whole conversation stepped in and gave her a sticker to make her feel better. She thanked him, and then quickly excused herself, avoiding eye contact with me.
Let's be honest, I have worked with a lot of folk. I do not remember a large majority of them by face, and some I may not even remember by story. Unless it is something that really stood out (like you were on fire at the time) your customer interaction with me is most likely going to be forgotten. Yes, some of my favorites I do note here, but I really could not connect faces with most of them. But whenever I run into a former customer, about half the time they are super embarassed. Which to me is funny, since I then assume that they bought something super raunchy (like a huuuuuuuge butt plug) that they didn't want anyone to find out about. In reality, they probably bought a book or a vibrator.
Customer #2:
I am in an event tent and the lady at the door looks familiar. As I walk by her, she asks me if I am from a certain city (I am). I then make the connection that I just met this woman the week before, when I sold her and her girlfriend their first harness. I tell her that she knows me from making an intimate purchase the week before, and once that clicks, she starts smiling and laughing and gives me a big hug. She thanks me for helping her out, and even tells me a little snippet about her adventures with her purchases. As I leave, she thanks me for saying hello and wishes me well.
Some customers are really exited to run into me. I like to think that its because they are reminded of a good experience, or something that added positively to their lives. After all, some sex toys are pretty earth shattering. I once had my meal paid for by a couple that recognized me for helping them buy their first sex toy. They laughed and waved at me, and went off in a good mood.
Shopping for sex toys is embarassing for some people, and for others its a new form of expression.
Just remember to be nice to your local sex shop worker, and if you can, buy them a drink. ; )
Customer #1:
Whilst walking out a doorway, a young blonde woman started staring at me. I smiled and said hello, and she squinted her eyes as if to examine me, and asked if I was from a certain town (I am). When she asked where she knew me from, I jokingly said that I probably have sold her a sex toy, since I worked in a shop for three years down there. Mind you, I wasn't sincere about this connection, but the linkliness that she had seen me there was pretty high. Right away her face starts to go pink, and then red, and she starts stammering. She mumbles that I was probably right, and pretty much looked like she was ready to run. I told her it was okay to run into me, it happens pretty often and that she shouldn't be embarassed. If anything, it's a funny story to tell. A random guy who apparently had heard this whole conversation stepped in and gave her a sticker to make her feel better. She thanked him, and then quickly excused herself, avoiding eye contact with me.
Let's be honest, I have worked with a lot of folk. I do not remember a large majority of them by face, and some I may not even remember by story. Unless it is something that really stood out (like you were on fire at the time) your customer interaction with me is most likely going to be forgotten. Yes, some of my favorites I do note here, but I really could not connect faces with most of them. But whenever I run into a former customer, about half the time they are super embarassed. Which to me is funny, since I then assume that they bought something super raunchy (like a huuuuuuuge butt plug) that they didn't want anyone to find out about. In reality, they probably bought a book or a vibrator.
Customer #2:
I am in an event tent and the lady at the door looks familiar. As I walk by her, she asks me if I am from a certain city (I am). I then make the connection that I just met this woman the week before, when I sold her and her girlfriend their first harness. I tell her that she knows me from making an intimate purchase the week before, and once that clicks, she starts smiling and laughing and gives me a big hug. She thanks me for helping her out, and even tells me a little snippet about her adventures with her purchases. As I leave, she thanks me for saying hello and wishes me well.
Some customers are really exited to run into me. I like to think that its because they are reminded of a good experience, or something that added positively to their lives. After all, some sex toys are pretty earth shattering. I once had my meal paid for by a couple that recognized me for helping them buy their first sex toy. They laughed and waved at me, and went off in a good mood.
Shopping for sex toys is embarassing for some people, and for others its a new form of expression.
Just remember to be nice to your local sex shop worker, and if you can, buy them a drink. ; )
Friday, August 19, 2011
Sex Worker Housing
Hello!
So recently I have been looking for housing and filling out lots of housing applications. I haven't moved for a few years, so I forgot that you need to write your means of employment to prove that you can pay rent. While getting proof of payment from my work, someone asked me if I use the actual name of my employers, or use a general coorporation title. For example, instead of "sex shop sales person" should I put "retail associate".
Sometimes I forget that people still have a problem with sex shops, and that this line of work to some is not considered valid or "a real job". Personally I've had to exaplin more than once to my parents that this is legit work, and for me working in this industry isn't a joke or a quick way to make money. I actually believe that by working at a sex shop I am helping out humanity in one way or another.
I talked to some fellow sex shop workers and they told me that sometimes housing companies won't work with anyone in the sex industry, which is why sometimes you need to be very vague on the forms. But my line of work is just as legal and legit as theirs. Why do I need to feel ashamed and hide my profession?
After four years, you'd think I would stop being so surprised by peoples actions.
So recently I have been looking for housing and filling out lots of housing applications. I haven't moved for a few years, so I forgot that you need to write your means of employment to prove that you can pay rent. While getting proof of payment from my work, someone asked me if I use the actual name of my employers, or use a general coorporation title. For example, instead of "sex shop sales person" should I put "retail associate".
Sometimes I forget that people still have a problem with sex shops, and that this line of work to some is not considered valid or "a real job". Personally I've had to exaplin more than once to my parents that this is legit work, and for me working in this industry isn't a joke or a quick way to make money. I actually believe that by working at a sex shop I am helping out humanity in one way or another.
I talked to some fellow sex shop workers and they told me that sometimes housing companies won't work with anyone in the sex industry, which is why sometimes you need to be very vague on the forms. But my line of work is just as legal and legit as theirs. Why do I need to feel ashamed and hide my profession?
After four years, you'd think I would stop being so surprised by peoples actions.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
How can you be so sexually open? It's remarkable.
I consider myself to be sexually casual, verses open. I like to keep sex as a casual topic, to help normalize it and fight it from being such a taboo topic.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Have you ever played a kink scene with someone who you are not sexually attracted to?
I've done some kink instructionals with some people that I wasn't attracted to, but not full private scenes. Oh, and some light public play
Is it wrong to play a kink scene with someone who you are not sexually attracted to?
Kink play isn't about sexual attraction. But there should be some sort of attraction, at least to the scene. There should be communication between the players though about the scene.
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