Friday, February 18, 2011

A Gender Experiment

The sex shop that I work at hosts classes and workshops about once a week. These classes are incredibly popular, and usually sell out. We offer a range of topics from various local, and internationally famous educators. From lap dance instructional, to BDSM lectures, our course offerings are pretty interesting and fun.

Currently there is an interesting observation happening surrounding gender and the classes.

We have two classes being taught next week by the intelligent and lovely Oh Megan, a certified Sexuality Educator. One is called "Oh! Ohh OHHHH! How to make her come back for more". The other is called "Blow Him Away: How to Please Your Man in Bed." Both are classes focused on how to make a partner of a particular gender orgasm and be sexually satisfied. The concept of both classes is fairly similar, she will be exploring erogenous zones, pleasure points, and tips on how to give please to your partner. The only real difference is that each are based around different genders. When being blunt I call these "orgasm classes".

We have "Orgasm classes" pretty often, sometimes offered from different instructors. Oh Megan has taught these classes here before, about a year ago I believe. They are always great classes to offer, because no matter how long you are sexually active, there is always something new to learn, be it about your partner or yourself.

Currently we have over a dozen sign ups for the Blow Him Away class, which is about half full. Being that it is next week, this is pretty good.

And how many sign ups do we have for the female orgasm class? None. Zip. Not one sign up.

This is where the current gender observation is occurring. Why is it that two classes, basically identical in structure, have such drastic differences in interest? Many of the employees and other spectators have made theories. Here are the most popular ones, and of course, my comments.

1. Men are not comfortable going to a class on female pleasure. It is socially unacceptable for a man to admit that he may not know everything there is about pleasing a lady. Guys are supposed to know about orgasm already, and going to the class is admitting failure.
Okay...plausible...we do live in a society where women have more outlets to talk about sex (Sex in the City is a good example) but then again, the class is open to all genders. This isn't a class just for guys to please girls. Where are all the queer girls? Or women that just want to learn about their own bodies and orgasms? Men are not the only ones to look at when it comes to the emptiness of the class. Where are the ladies at?

2. Being a sex shop, we get more female than males in the store, so it is possible that men wouldn't be comfortable coming into the shop, even for a class.
----------We actually have an equal amount of customers that are of all genders. Our most common customers are actually couples, who together come in and browse. Actually, about ten minutes ago I was explaining the class schedule to a couple that was new to our store and their eyes lit up when they heard about the male orgasm class. So both genders were present, but they focused on the class that was based around him. But I have to admit, we tend to get groups of females who sign up together as a girls night out. We never get groups of male friends signing up for classes together.

3. The partner thinks they don't need to learn anything new, so why would they come to the class when they already know enough to please their partner?
----------Also, totally possible, and an interesting social observation. In my experience, in a heterosexual couple, females have a hard time expressing their sexual needs to their partner. And if they do not speak up, the partner may not even be aware that there is something to improve upon. Almost once a week I get a female asking me how to ask her boyfriend to do something, whether it's use a toy on her, or perform oral sex on her. And when I tell her, honestly, that the best way to get something is to ask, the woman usually explains that it makes her uncomfortable. But if the woman doesn't actually give any feedback or suggestions, then how will their partner know what to do, other than what they are already doing (which is not satisfying her).

Any other theories would be great to hear!

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