Last night I attended an all girls night party for an organization I am involved in, where we played bonding games like truth or dare, and other silly slumber party-esque things.
One of the games involved answering random questions that we drew out of a hat. Some examples "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" "Which dead person would you like to have a conversation with?" etc. One of the questions was "What is your dream job?" I listened to the women go around and talk about their dreams of stardom, acting, dancing, being a housewife, etc.
When it came to me, I said "Feminist BDSM Porn Producer/Writer."
I forget sometimes that not everyone I associate with is porn positive, or at least comfortable with the topic. The friends that know me giggled and nodded, since they already knew my answer. But then there was the reaction from those who were not comfortable with my answer. As I have talked about before, many peoples initial response when it comes to sex and feeling uncomfortable, is to make a joke. I am very used to it, since it happens probably once a day for me at the sex shop. But honestly, it annoys the crap out of me. My work is not a joke to me. What I do is important and I am very passionate about it. I did not mock any ones answer when they talked about becoming a lawyer or an executive. So why, when I say truthfully what my dream job would me, am I mocked?
Anyways, after hearing my answer this girl starts saying "What, like Avatar porn? You want to make parody porn?" I try to explain to her that the "parody porn" genre is actually mainly mainstream hetero and vanilla, which is not what I said I wanted to do. I was immediately shut down, and she continued to mock and gab on about parody porn and "that shit". While she was loudly ranting I continued to speak, saying "Well thanks for shutting me down and not listening to my answer, especially right now while I am still talking and you are making fun of my answer." The people around me noticed me getting upset, but the rest of the group continued to laugh and shout over each other, while talking down about an industry that I feel would be a dream of mine to work in.
Madison Young, a Feminist BDSM porn producer/writer/actress. http://madisonbound.com/
I admire the work of Madison Young, Rain DeGrey, and Miss Maggie Mayhem. They are female empowered, sex positive BDSM models, writers, producers that are able to be extremely good examples of what I would like to do with my life. In fact, I just googled "Feminist BDSM Porn" and Madison Young and Rain DeGrey were the first search results. How amazing is that?
I get it, porn isn't for everyone. But at least have respect for other peoples work.