Sunday, March 27, 2011

The parents are gone, party time!

This week the owners of the store are at a Las Vegas sex toy convention. Which means that lil' ol' me is on my own for the next few days. So while the owners go away, the sex shop workers get to play!

Actually, no. I have a BUNCH of cleaning and organizing to do. My hands are covered in lube from re-lubing all the latex clothing, I am covered in dust from dusting off packages. This place is going to be spic n' span when the owners returns (hopefully with free schwag!)

Customers totally have been AMAZINGLY amusing.

-Middle aged friendly guy with glasses comes in after opening and chirps on about how much product we carry. He buys the new Aneros Vice. This anal toy is the first vibrating Aneros, which is well know prostate massager. While I am wrapping it up it occurs to me that he may not know how to turn the vibrator on (it needs to be held down in a certain area for a few seconds and then tapped to change function). I ask him if he knows how to use it, and he starts laughing that he has no idea. I show him and he leaves giggling that he almost bought a toy that he had no clue how to use.

-Tiny, tiny (like 3ft) old lady comes in and sweetly asks if she can wait in the store until the library opens. She is adorable, I want to put her in my pocket.

-Couple comes in. They are obviously doing a sexual game, where the girl dressed the guy up in female clothing and is parading him around town. I figure this out because the guy is in full girl clothing, including wig, and keeps his head down and shifts back and forth in his outfit awkwardly, and while looking a butt plugs says "you made me wear this outfit, don't make me say it (anal plug) out loud." They spend a long time in the kink section, and the girl buys her partner a red sparkly collar to wear. He refers to her as "Master", which confirms my suspicions that this is some sort of sexy game that they are playing (they also confirm this with me later). I am SUPER jealous of his outfit, it is amazing. Also, sexy gender fucking games make me happy.

-Guy comes in to get change for parking. Apparently he didn't know it was a sex shop and makes this surprised "Wah!" noise. His partner, who is pregnant, comes in to see what the noise was about. She is also thrown aback that he walked into a sex shop. I give him change and they walk around the store in awe, and he asks me about a cock pump that we sell.

-Young girl buys a guide to pregnancy for lesbians. She is shy when talking to me.

-Women come in asking for a vibrator that connects to an Ipod. They buy the club vibe, a three function vibrator. It vibrates like a regular toy, or you can connect it to an Ipod or Iphone and it will vibrate to the base of the music, or you can put it on "club mode" and it will vibrate to any surround noise. Kinda nifty, no?

-The older guy with glasses from earlier in the day comes back in and buys a Njoy stainless steel plug.

-Young couple looks at vibrators together. Actually, a few young couples do, all in a row, and leave.

-Woman comes in and examines our cock rings. She buys the C-Spot vibrator made by Good Vibrations.

-Couple comes in with a stroller and a baby. I wonder if my parents ever brought me somewhere naughty before I could remember?

-Friend of mine comes in. She is wearing a shirt for "Book of Mormon", the new Broadway musical by the makers of South Park. I am super jealous and giddy that she got to see it (it's only showing in New York).

-Two women ask me about harnesses. They buy the Spareparts Harness, which is our current top seller, and the acute dildo in purple, with a matching purple vibrating bullet.

-A group of 30 something year olds come in to laugh at the products. One guy buys a gag ball "as a joke". I ignore them as they mock our anal section. Bleh.

-Two older guys and a woman come in. One guy asks me if we have any chocolate penises. He then grabs a dildo, straps it around his neck and starts walking around the store saying "this is how men should be designed." The other guy who is looking at masturbation sleeves tells me I have a beautiful smile.

Aaaand let's end with that.

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